~NEW STEP!~

HEY EVERYONE!!!!!

I had THE greatest experience today!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mary took me to the place that she works. She has a Nustep there....that stationary bike that I asked you all to pray that I have a way to get...the one that's really expensive. There's one where Mary works. I got on. She helped me strap my feet in and we velcroed the leg stabilizers to my thighs so that my legs stay upright instead of flapping out. I started to push forward with the handles for my hands.......AND IT MOVED MY LEGS!!!!!!! It moved my legs NORMALLY!!!!!! They went up and down just like I was exercising!!! It was AWESOME!!!!!!!! While I texted Brian, I started to cry. For real. I cried. It was the coolest feeling ever. I wasn't engrossed in a bunch of plastic or metal, and my legs weren't stiff in braces or anything. There was just a velcro strap that went around my legs and they moved freely up and down like I was stepping!! It was great :-D

I'm thinking I have a couple different options to get my hands on one of these things. Please pray one of them comes through!!

Oh, I also forgot to add yesterday that I did Cable Bicep Curls. I went up from 40 lbs. to 50 lbs!!

Out of Focus

I just finished reading a book titled "Unthinkable". It's about the first double-amputee to complete the Hawaiian Ironman Triathlon. It's been a very good book.

In keeping with my theme on Monday about the untruths that I have been telling myself, I found this part of the book very interesting. Scott Rigsby is out on the bike course part of the Hawaiian Ironman. He realizes that he's at mile 30 in 94 degree heat and he's not hot and sweaty. He asks the question out loud "Why am I not hot?". He thinks that something must be wrong. He then heard a dreamlike voice answer him "Because you are wrapped in the shadows of my love." and he says it was like he was above himself looking down and he saw a vision of two angel wings completely covering him. The only shadow he saw was half of his wheel. He gets past the 60 mile mark where he had to turn to go back the way he'd come, and the winds become begin to work against him. Then he hits mile 80 and he feels like he's being pushed backwards. He says it's the worst wind you've ever experienced...that even professional athletes have been blown across the course into guardrails because of hte winds. So, he begins talking to God. He says "Lord, could you help me out here with the wind? This kind of stinks on a universal level." He goes on to describe what he calls a 'full-blown, two-year-old's tantrum." for the next few miles, yelling at God and wondering where He is and why He won't stop the winds. Then Scott looks up and realizes that he's back, almost directly across from the spot where he'd had the angelic vision. He says "What a jerk I was to forget so quickly." Then he says to God "Excuse me, God? Um, sorry about that stuff back there. Are we cool?"

How often this happens in our lives. We all have so many situations that we say (or very well could say) "Where's God at in this?" "If God really cared (or if He really existed), why did He let this happen?" or "Why didn't He fix this for me?" But, see, Scott Rigsby was trying to do the Unthinkable...no one had ever done it before...and if it was a piece of cake for him to get through, it would have been no big triumph...if He didn't need to lean on the supernatural strength, if He could just do it himself, then how would the Lord be seen as all-powerful, and nothing being impossible with Him? I forget this lesson repeatedly. I have so many times in daily life when I wonder "Why did you let this happen to me?" That was my thought the first week I was having stomach issues and had to tell Brian. That's always my thought the first time that happens. But, if it didn't happen, I wouldn't have gotten to experience the depth of mercy that Brian has for my situation, nor would I have known what a gift God has given me. If I could go into the gym and do everything just like everyone else, then, I would be just another person at the gym...I most likely wouldn't have the chance to share my testimony and God's grace with you on here or with people that ask me...or people just wouldn't really care to listen as much.

So, anyway, that's what I mean about untruths...it isn't that it's not reality. But when we get out of focus of what our goal is, and when we look to our general life circumstances, it can keep us caught for a very long time. My conversation with Brian last weekend about not having a job had lots of realities in it, and he really didn't blame me for feeling the way I felt. But, the truth is that God is glorified the most when things aren't all hunky dorey in our lives. I just need to stay focused on the truth that He will never leave me or forsake me. I need to stay focused on the goal that He has given me to complete, just like He gave Scott Rigsby to complete. :-D My friend put this quote on her Facebook status: "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." ~ Thomas A. Edison. God doesn't promise that it's going to be easy and fun. He just promises to get us through it. And He does...even when we don't think He does. Scott Rigsby had 17 hours to complete the triathlon without being disqualified. He made it in 16 hours 42 minutes and 46 seconds....not a piece of cake, but he made it.


Wow, not sure when my blog turned into a daily sermon. lol. Hope you all don't mind. Just really seeing things differently lately. I guess I am finally bringing my walls back down. :-)

Today was very good....but very early. I wasn't completely pleased, but Brian didn't seem unhappy. I think my muscles just weren't awake. I didn't do badly...it was just what I felt like. My elbow didn't hurt as badly. Brian kinda rubbed it out a time or two this week :-)

I was there so early so I could leave for Ann Arbor. That's where I'm writing you from!! YAY!!! Time to RELAX!!! Goin back home on Friday.

Cambered Bar Rows - 85 lbs., 5 sets of 10.
Dumbbell Rows (Single Arm) - 40 lbs., 2 sets, 20 & 15.
Shrugs - 85 lbs., 3 sets of 12.
Commando Chin Ups - 3 sets of 8.
Facedown Inclined Lateral Raises - 15 lbs., 12. 20 lbs., 2 sets of 12.
Chops - 2 sets of 12, and one set I did 5 chops and 5 pressing the cable out from my chest and holding it steady for a 10 count.

Stretching! :-D

Happy New Year Everybody!!!!!!!!

Trust

It's easier to not take action in your life and call it "Trusting that God will take care of you", rather than stepping out into what you DO NOT want to do and actually trusting that God will take care of you. Maybe not in every case. Some people might be just the opposite. But, that seems to be the case for me, at least in one area of my life.

Yesterday at church was wonderful. I was in tears for the entire praise and worship because of the awesomeness of God's blessings on my life this past year. We sang a lot of songs about trusting Jesus. Then I left church and went to the gym and had a conversation with Brian that I was completely appalled at when I left...(appalled at myself, not at Brian.) It's a conversation I've had lots of other times with other people...but with Brian I had my guard down and I didn't state many things as fact or as if I was convinced of my reasonings of my actions....but rather, I stated fears of the unknown and what could happen if I stepped out of the situation that I'm in. I had never had the conversation like that before (that I recall), and I didn't realize what I'd said until after I left. It was a very humiliating feeling...not because I was embarrassed to say it to Brian, but because I was so ashamed of the state of my heart that God was showing me through the conversation. I think that actually it was more sad than humiliating because I didn't realize how much I had deceived myself. It isn't on purpose that I'm not trusting God...I have just convinced myself of a lot of untruths along the way. It saddened me that I thought I trusted him so much more than I really do.

I'm so thankful that we don't have to be perfect to be God's children. And I'm so humbled that God showed me the true side of my heart because He still loves me, even though I haven't been faithful in trusting Him as much as I should. And I'm thankful that God uses the people in our lives to bring these realizations to us. I know that if I hadn't begun to trust Jack this year with taking care of my legs in massages and if I hadn't found Brian and begun to trust him with everything involved in my training (and more) that my heart would not have been in a right state to be open to accept that I'd been deceiving myself. Brian also knows what I need to hear instead of what I want to hear...granted, I'm sure a lot of other people know what I need to hear, but a lot of people aren't always the first in line to give out unpleasant advice...and I know you all have your own people that you're more willing to listen to over others, when people do start handing out advice. It never ceases to amaze me and bring me to my knees that God always knows exactly how to reach us in the right moments. One of those many invisible miracles that we don't always choose to acknowledge.

This whole lesson is like when I started declaring in my blogs how much I was getting along with Brian and really trusting him, then I came back from competition and we started into cycles of stuff that I wasn't very fond of and all of a sudden I wasn't so keen on talking for a few sessions. It's easy to say that we trust God when we're not doing anything...when we're in our little comfortable routine or when we're just where we want to be in life. But, it's another thing to actually take the steps to trust him with our life and go into the unknown. NOW I actually KNOW that I trust Brian, but I had to be put to the test to know whether that really was coming from my heart or not. And that's what God was asking me today about Himself. There's a song on my Mp3 player called Mountains, by LoneStar, and the chorus says "There are times in life when you've gotta crawl, lose your grip, trip and fall. When you can't lean on noone else, that's when you find yourself. I've been around and I've noticed that walkin's easy when the road is flat. Them danged 'ole heels will get you every time. Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains so we can learn how to climb." But, you actually have to take action to learn how to climb. You have to do it yourself. It has to be experienced, not just watched.

So, I'm getting ready to step out. I begin school on January 19th, and I will actually be going TO school, not doing any classes at home. And, after the conversation yesterday, I realize that the bigger step out is going to be when school is done and the job search begins....this time, it needs to end with a job. And the Lord will provide exactly what I need with and through the job.

Things went VERY well again today :) The elbow mostly behaved itself. No problems on benching. My issues are with triceps exercises...but they always have been. I hate that I have the elbow issues...makes me feel like I'm "being a girl." lol. I guess it's no different, I usually complain about whatever is hurting...but the elbow issues actually are bothersome to me...I'm not just having fun complaining to Brian about my woes. ;-) It worries me b/c it hurts to transfer and I need to be able to do that long after my powerlifting career. But, I guess that's just one of the things that comes with the territory. I'm sure it'll work itself out. Like I said to Brian, I just tend to be a hypochondriac when it comes to my muscles. lol.

Bench - Warm up, 95 lbs., 10. 135 lbs., 3. 155 lbs., 3. 180 lbs., 3.!!!! PR!!!!! WOOHOO. Very excited about this. When I got to Brian the MOST I had ever done, 1 rep, was 180 lbs!
Decline Dumbbell Press - 45 lbs., 8. 50 lbs., 8. 55 lbs., 8.
Skullcrushers - The outside grip doesnt seem to want to cooperate with me these days..that was my first set. The next two sets we did a closer grip with my hands hammer style and the pain decreased on both sets.
Front Raises - 15 lbs., 3 sets of 12...these feel much much much much better!!! I really don't mind them at all anymore :-D Better rotation on my shoulders too.
Shoulder Horn - 10 lbs., 2 sets of 25.
Abs on that half round thing - 2 sets of 12, then 'static holds'...I only got 3 in. lol.

Stretching. :-D

Everyone say a prayer for it to stop snowing for a couple of days. I REALLY wanna go to Ann Arbor to visit Mary on Wednesday after I work out!!!! Thanks :)

And the ramp was shoveled for me by the time I got to the gym today :-D Thank you Brian!

Elbow Issues

I had a lot of tendinitis problems in my left elbow for quite a while. I'm sure you remember if you've been following me the whole time. But, we figured out that I was hyper-extending my elbows from being double-jointed, and once I corrected that on a lot of my exercises, the problem has diminished greatly.

Now my body has felt the need to aggravate the right elbow. Not sure what the problem is. When Jack tried to extend my arm all the way on Thursday at massage it hurt pretty badly, so we're thinking I'm hyper-extending again. But, I can't really think of anything that I'd be hyper-extending on, except bench. But, I have to lock out on bench...so, not sure there's really a solution.

It hurt pretty good today...mostly on top. It's not underneath like the left arm. Very odd. It took me a set to get situated on a couple of exercises, but, I seemed to do pretty well and was able to get a groove through the pain after my first sets. It's not that bad....pain sounds like such a horrible word. It would shock me at first set, b/c it's a sharp, prickly feeling...but once I knew what it was going to feel like, it wasn't that bad. We'll keep working at it, I'm sure it'll go away like the left arm.

Things went well today. Pretty over-stimulating for my taste...the gym was jam-packed with people (or so it seemed...it could be there were just a few very loud people). But it still went very well. I felt very good (aside from the elbow thing), and Brian said I looked strong.

Bench with 2 second pauses - Warmup 95 lbs., 7. Then, 140 lbs., sets of 3. I don't know how many sets...close to 9 I think. I felt like I was more explosive off my chest than I used to be. Brian said I looked strong. I did mis-groove one set, and one rep of another set. But other than that I did well.
Close-Grip off pins - Started with 135 lbs., for 5 and worked up to 175 lbs., for 5. I was in the rack for this one and Brian set the pins above my chest, so I wasn't coming down all the way. Just trying to build my tricep strength at the top. And he was not wanting to overload me because I have to bench on Monday again.
Tricep Pushdowns - 80 lbs., 90 lbs., 100 lbs., 12. 100 lbs., 10...He helped me with, at least, the last two of the last set...I don't know if he was helping me on others or not.
Lateral Raises - 15 lbs., 3 sets of 12.
Blackburns - 5 lbs., 2 sets of 15.
Reach-Ups on that half round thing - 3 sets, one of 10 and two of 12.

Stretching :-)

One-on-One

Brian and I went back upstairs for cardio again this morning. I love it. I think that Tuesday and today have been my favorite sessions. I'm far from the biggest cardio fan you'll ever meet, but, I love that it's just me & Brian working together up there. I'm thinking of changing sports so I can have that all the time! (I'm COMPLETELY kidding). I've always been a major quality time person...love one-on-one time. And it has begun to take the humiliation and embarrassment away from me. We can talk about anything (like my stomach issues on Tuesday) and no one is around to hear. Or he can make me try something completely out of my league and he's the only one watching if I can't do it. Or I can be going too quickly on the ropes and miss grabbing ahold of it and smack myself in the face, and he's the only one that sees it. :-D I'm sure it'll do wonders for my communication skills. I was still a little off with that on Tuesday, but I was better than I usually am when something happens downstairs!

Ya know, that all reminds me of the movie Coyote Ugly. The jist of it is this girl wants to become a musician/song writer, but she's afraid to sing in front of people. Then she meets this guy and she'll only sing for him if the lights are all off and she can't see him. At the end of the movie she catches a break to sing at some auditions or something and when she gets on the stage, she completely freezes. So, the guy shows up right then and he shuts all the lights off and she begins to sing. He ends up turning them back on in the middle of her song, but now she's already in the middle of her song, so it doesn't bother her.

Anyway...not sure why I said all that. Sometimes I wonder if this is what my cousin Terry had in mind when he prompted me to start blogging my workouts. I have a tendency to give a lot more details than people normally care about. lol.

SO!!! We figured out how to make the prowler work!!!!!!! Yay for us!!! Brian put a lifting belt on me and then wrapped my straps through it and around the poles. Then I laid across a 12-inch box stool. It worked out VERY well. I think he put a 5 lb plate on each pole of the prowler. But I don't know how much the prowler weighs. We did timed intervals. It kicked my butt....seriously.

Then, at the end he set up some cones and watched me weave through them...just some more ideas for when I'm by myself.

Everyone have a very Merry & Blessed Christmas. Remember why we get to wake up each and every morning and Who watches over our every step and say a special Thank You to Him for giving us a reason to celebrate tomorrow.

Overboard!

Well, now I can officially tell you that Brian was my overboard-on-gifts person this year. :) I couldn't wait, I took everything today, even though I'll see him again tomorrow. lol. I made him a 'gratitude' jar. I think he liked it. He opened it and pulled one of the sayings out, so that's usually a pretty good sign that it wasn't just put aside. (I gave him more than that...if you're wondering how a jar is going overboard. But, that's what I was happiest to give him. I like to give stuff that actually came from my heart and that I deliberately thought about and spent time on.)

I found a quote that related to a reason that I'm thankful for him, for every day for a year and put them all in a jar. Actually, I found enough for more than a year. There's like 15 extras. I put the quote in one color and then I thanked him for something in another color right after the quote. I was really excited about it. It'd take forever to tell him everything that makes me so grateful to have him. So, that was a way to tell him when he has the time to take a look. Doesn't matter if he does it all at once or really pulls one out every day till next year, he has it and he can know now how thankful I am that he's my trainer.

Anyway, really good day again:
Cambered Bar Rows - 85 lbs., 12. 95 lbs., 4 sets of 8.
Dumbbell Rows (single-arm) - 35 lbs., 25 & 20. each arm.
Shrugs - 95 lbs., 3 sets of 12.
Pull-Ups - 3 sets of 8...Brian kinda helps me with these...but it still really works my back well, how we have figured out to do it.
Face-down Inclined Lateral Raises - 15 lbs., 3 sets of 12...had some trouble w/ sliding with these. Not sure why...didn't make me happy...maybe use a strap next week.
Inclined Cable Bicep Curls - 40 lbs., I think I did 3 sets. Of 12. Brian has a lot of fun w/ those straps of mine. He gets me rigged up pretty good now. My cousin, Darlene, has made a couple more for us, so he's able to strap me down real well. It works out well for these.
Chops - 30 lbs., 2 sets of 15.

Stretching!!!!!!!! :-D Can never be too excited about stretching.

Going in tomorrow for abs & drills as always, and I think we're going to do some more cardio stuff. Brian keeps saying he has more ideas, so we'll see if we experiment more or just do what we did yesterday. Should be a riot, either way. ;-) I'll probably blog again Saturday, unless tomorrow is too entertaining to pass up. We're switching, since Christmas is Friday.

OH! I keep forgetting to mention that the ramp at the gym has been neatly cleaned off for me all week, despite the inches of snow we got last weekend :)

Cardio

Ugh! That was wretched. I think that sticking pins in my eyes would have been more entertaining!!

I'm SO kidding. I had to throw a line in there because every time Brian checked on me today he said "I know it's boring, but that's what we have to do."

Brian spent time with me today to work on some inside cardio ideas...and believe me, most of them were far from boring!!!!!! He came up with a lot more than anyone else has ever been able to tell me to do. And, I think that most of them could probably work out for me to do them alone...if I get brave enough.

He hooked a rope to a pole and he stood at the other end to hold it out level above me and i pulled myself along the rope back & forth. Then he had me throw a med ball across the room and go after it...for what seemed like an eternity!!!! ;-) He tried strapping me to the pole and having me pull this contraption called a 'prowler' across the room. I laid on my back and threw a medball in the air and he caught it and handed it back to me. And the last thing we tried was, laying on my back I used a sand bag and did a sort of extension with it, from the floor behind my head, across my face to my chest and then straight up extended above me and back to the floor behind my head. I don't think I'm forgetting anything.

The ball throwing I can do on my own. It was my least favorite thing that we did, but I think that's just because it didnt' get my heart rate up as high as everything else. But, I have to take what I can get, and it DID elevate it, and it got it in range to where Brian was happy, and it's something I can do on my own. I'm sure once I get a little more coordinated with picking the ball up, I can get my heart rate elevated a bit more.

The Rope pulling, I'm determined to figure out how to do it on my own. The only reason I couldn't today was because as I pulled, the rope fell in my lap and once I got about half way, there was too much and it fell out of my lap and then I ran over it and it stopped me.

I think that possibly if I actually do get bored enough with the things we've come up with (or maybe just b/c I'm stubborn), I might attempt tossing a medball in the air while laying on my back and catching it myself...but, I still have to think about that one. I was not by ANY means throwing it straight up in the air...Brian was all over the place trying to catch it. He said "You know that one mistake of yours could prove deadly, right? Does that make you nervous?" I laughed and said no...and I knew that letting that ball hit me would be the last thing he'd let happen. And if it did happen, it'd be my fault anyway for not being coordinated enough to throw it right. But I trust him :-)

The Prowler didn't work right, but I am determined in fixing that as well. I wouldn't be able to do it on my own...but I know there's a better position for me to be in so that I can pull it better without falling forward. FYI - if any of you ever work with a trainer, choose your words carefully. If you ever say the word 'easy', the weight automatically increases by 30 lbs. automatically...today it was 40 lbs. lol. I love it...THAT is my type of thinking. "Fine, your handing me a challenge? I shall rise to the challenge." is pretty much what they're thinking any time you tell them that something is too easy that they're making you do. I love working with someone like that.

The sand bag thing was cool, and I definitely could do that on my own. I had a really hard time gripping it. But, it made it fun. I said it so many times that by the time Brian got sick of hearing it and was going to give me a lighter one, I wouldn't let go of it to switch....I figured I'd gone that long with it, that I could make it work to finish the job. ;-)

SO, that was my day. It was a blast. And I'm glad Brian reads my blogs, so he will know that I enjoyed it and I appreciate his efforts. I didn't give as much feedback as I should have and as I know he likes to have. I was having more stomach issues and it just tends to back me out of the whole communication thing. I'm working on it though. I think I did better today. I continued with the exercises and we had a lot of banter going while we were experimenting with everything.

P.S. The answer to your question while bringing me down to my car is Yes, Brian, I do trust you...a lot more than 'pretty well'. Only people I trust take me upstairs....and one in a million get to 'experiment' to find out what I can do. :-)

God Of Glory, Lord Of Love

Okay, I decided this weekend I needed to be over my bah-humbug stage. I didn't have to do anything this year that I felt obligated to and I am looking forward to giving all the gifts I have for everyone this year. I didn't run around crazy or fret or become too busy to enjoy life over the holidays, so I need to ENJOY the holidays.

I can't stand Santa stuff, but instead of dwelling on someone that doesn't exist, I decided to start dwelling who DOES exist. And He, my friends, is My Wonderful Savior Jesus, His Comforter Side-Kick the Holy Spirit, and My Perfect Father in Heaven, Jehovah Jireh - My Provider.

I've had more blessings this year than I can begin to count justwith beginning my powerlifting training alone and none of it would have been possible if the Lord hadn't been taking care of me and guiding each step. I have been provided for completely financially all year. I have found a trainer that fits me more perfectly than I could have even begun to ask for. (That's biblical, ya know? He's able to do more than we can ask or imagine. Ephesians 3:14-21) And I've been blessed with My Cousin, Jack, taking care and watching over me all year with my massages. Along with the support of so many friends and family, and much more given to me other than financially...things provided for me voluntarily any time I was in need.

Christmas services are my very favorite church services to attend. There are wonderful hymns sang that contain such reverance to God that I think we're lacking most of the time throughout the year. The services leave me in a state of wonder for all the miracles that we have all year, and simply refuse to acknowledge or simply ignore. And I go to my church every Christmas Eve and get prayed over for the coming year and take communion. It's a very personal, reverant time that I truly love that I get to have.

And THAT is what Christmas is for. He doesn't change, and He doesn't leave. He doesn't cease to exist just because someone says He does. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is the Beginning and the End. He is the Author and the Finisher. That means He's there always. He is not a lie that parents tell their children to make life more exciting. He is there every year and HE provides the 'Christmas' gifts, all year round.


Okay. I'm done. :-) Great day today. We're starting my cycle over, I'm pretty sure. Although, Brian did raise my dumbbell weight today from last week, we didn't stay the same on that. My bench was AWESOME. It felt great and I placed it right. Probably a combination of a better day and starting drills back up w/ the bands hanging. Here's the workout:

Bench - Warmup, 95 lbs., 1 set of 10. I do this most of the time, and I just don't add it in. I probably should, I don't really count it though. 135 lbs., 5. Then Brian changed the weights twice, each for a set of 5, but I don't know what weights they were. And my last set was 170 lbs. for 5 :)

Decline Dumbbell Press - 40 lbs., 10. 45 lbs., 10. 50 lbs., 2 sets of 10.
Skullcrushers - Again, I didn't check to see what weight he put on this bar. But, he had to take it down a bit today. My elbows were bothering me a lot...both of them. Then, we switched grips. It was funny. Last week we tried a grip and it hurt my elbows so we switched. This week we started with the grip that worked last week and this week it hurt my elbows. So we switched to the opposite one, the one that hurt last week, and it didn't hurt anymore! lol.

Front Raises were absolutely amazing today!!!!!!! I sat face into the seat so that when I raised my arms my body was pushing against the seat instead of into nothing or into my straps. Brian starpped me once lower around my waist to keep me from scooting myself back. It worked SO well. I felt it a lot more in my shoulders and my abs didn't have to do near as much work. I actually am unsure of the weight...don't know if it was 15 lbs. or 20, but I'd venture to guess 15. 3 sets of 12.
Shoulder Horn - 10 lbs., 2 sets of 25.
Abs on that half round thing. :) 2 sets, one of 12 and one of 11. They're pretty tough! But, it works really well.

And Stretching!! :-D

Was up two pounds today when I went to get weighed :( Not sure why or what the difference was. I guess it'll come off eventually. I'm at 125 and I need to get to 118.

No Pain! No Pain! No Pain!

Brian has the stomach flu :( Please say prayers for him, k?

So, (obviously) we didn't train today. But I wanted to blog anyway, because I had a subject to talk about.

Oh, before I start......Jack isn't moving!!! YAY!!!! He always talks about leaving here, so I'm sure he will eventually, but it's not going to be right now!!!!!! The longer I can keep him the happier I am. :-D

I watched Rocky IV last night with my dad. Reminded me of a lot of the stuff I strive for in myself. I haven't watched the Rocky's for quite a while. Rocky IV is my favorite.

Before he leaves for Russia he tells his kid that there's always a piece of him that's scared when he's in the ring. He says that sometimes it hurts so bad that he just wishes the guy he's fighting would put one to his chin so that he wouldn't have to feel anything else. But then, he says, there's another side that comes out. One that isn't so scared. And then he says that what counts the most is going a little bit further when you don't think you can....he says that's what makes all the difference in the world.

Every time I watch Rocky IV, I think about how off track and intimidated I let myself get by the side effects of my disability. I reach a point (more frequently than I'd like) where I let it make me sad and let it look intimidating, rather than letting it drive me and piss me off to push me through those times. When I watch Rocky, I wish that I had SOMEONE to compete against. It feels like if it was a person I was trying to beat that it would better keep my attention and focus of my ability to be able to conquer it. It's like when Drago gets cut. Rocky goes to his corner and his trainer (can't remember his name...Apollo's trainer), says "He's cut! You see?? He's not a machine, he's a man!!" But, when I have all these balance issues and things that don't go away and seemingly can't be cut down to any lesser size, that's when I get discouraged and cop an attitude when I'm training. Sometimes it feels like I can't beat it...like it's never going to go away. One of my favorite scenes is when Rocky says to Adrian, "Maybe I can't win. Maybe all I can do is take everything he's got. But to beat me, he's going to have to kill me. And to kill me he's gotta have the heart to stand in front of me. And to do that, he's got to be willing to die himself. And I don't know if he's ready to do that." ...every time I watch that scene, I wish that there was something physical that I was up against that had to be willing to die in order to beat me. This thing that I fight so regularly, it doesn't have feelings, it's just there, and it doesn't change and it doesn't go away. I can't wear it down. I can't cut it...it's not a 'machine', but, it can't be hurt.

But, hearing Rocky say that last night about how going a bit further is what makes the difference...that's why I constantly tell Brian not to take exercises out that I completely despise. I know that I'm training to compete. But, day to day, most of the time training to me is more about conquering my fears and lessening what I can't do and increasing what I can do, than it is about my bench. Brian will say that he can take something out of my routine b/c it isn't really that important in making my bench go up...but, if I make him keep it in, knowing that it isn't going to benefit my bench all that much, it's like proving a point to myself that I'm not going to let my disability make me take the easy way out. I'm going to fight and claw until I'm strong enough for it not to phase me. It definitely isn't going to hinder my bench to keep those things in, and if I can toughen up my mental game, my bench will be better anyway.

My very favorite parts of Rocky IV are the trainer (man! I should know his name!) yelling 'No Pain', right in Rocky's face every single time things are difficult, through training and through the fight. I guess my problem (to this point) has been getting someone to hang around when things get that difficult. I'm not saying Brian has to scream 'No Pain' in my face every time he makes me do front raises or something. He can do whatever he wants. I guess I just needed to find someone who was strong enough to wait around until I fight and claw my way to the top of each thing, so that when I look and they're there, I'll remember my fight and keep my focus, instead of feeling like I'm lost and floundering all alone and can't get out.

I've realized that having someone there to push me in my day-to-day doesn't mean that I'm going to become so reliant on them that I spaz when I go to competition and no one is there to push me. I don't need pushed to do 3 single lifts. Bench press is the easy part. My day to day push that I desperately missed all those months after Brent left is because day to day most of my training is a lot harder and a lot scarier than a bench press lift.

I'm glad I'm coming back around to realizing that. And I'm thankful to feel so comfortable with Brian that it's okay again for me to rely on him for an extra push. I've noticed some of my old habits that I had with Brent coming back. And it makes me smile because I know that I fully trust Brian and that deep down I know everything's okay, even when my brain is telling me otherwise. I've been looking for Brian more often when I go to start an exercise..especially if it makes me nervous. I search for his eyes, just to get a little comfort before I start. I know I wasn't doing that often with him b/c he's been asking me what's wrong when I look at him before I start. But, I'm just making sure he's there and that he knows I can do it. I always looked in Brent's eyes when I got tired or nervous...it gives me something to stay focused on, so my brain doesn't run wild in the middle of a set.

Stress

I'm not a holiday fan. I was traumatized by Santa (or the lack thereof) and this hasn't really been my favorite time of year since. Most any and all holidays screw with my schedule and I'm not ever a fan of that. I live my daily life seeing most all the people that I want to see and being where I want to be and that usually ceases to be on holidays. Makes me unhappy. It also stresses everyone out b/c they think they have to get all these gifts for everyone. It shouldn't be a 'have to' thing. It should be a 'want to' thing. I always have someone, usually every year, that I go overboard on, because I really want to and it makes me happy to do for them. Everyone else I just usually stick to one gift b/c it feels more like a 'have to' thing. I think we should all just get together instead of stressing out for a month and a half over all the things we 'have to do and get' before Christmas. My saving grace on Christmas is Christmas night when my dad's brothers' families come over. It's so much fun. It's probably my favorite thing we do on any holiday. That's why I still have everyone over for my birthday. I like having everyone at my house just hanging out.

Anywho...I was feeling a bit stressed today. Brian was a bit stressed today as well. And a few other people I saw during the course of the day. And it just got me thinkin' about that. I'm done with Christmas shopping so that's not really why I was feeling stressed...but it just seems that this time of year stresses people out.

Today started out about the same as yesterday...but it ended just as well. I think that everything with training changes so much that it's very hard to find things that work and be able to stick with them. The amount of weight I'm doing has a great effect on what I'm doing and how stable I am. Every time it changes, so does my balance. And, positioning with me is extremely crucial. And it's very hard to get that exact position every time. So, day to day something that worked yesterday doesn't work today and it will probably work again tomorrow. Brian and I hadn't run into this all that often...but, it's coming up more frequently. So, I'm going through another major adjustment period with another realm of him seeing me in vulnerable positions and things being harder for me to do. I'll be just fine, I just need to get through it. I need him to test my limits and make me do new things and different things and things I don't want to do. I just need him to hang in there while I adjust. I'm not eluding to anything like he might not. I'm pretty positive he will. I'm just saying it 'out loud', cuz I guess it's a fear in me from before. I get a little over worried that I am too much to handle when you put together everything he has to do for me and add on top of it my attitude when I'm scared or embarrassed. I probably make it worse by worrying about it so much. Past hurts can be a killer to work through. But, I love the workouts that he puts together for me...even though I might not necessarily prefer all the exercises. Everything is working and I'm getting stronger.

We had trouble with me sliding a bit with rows at first. But, we worked it out. And my cousin Darlene is making me more straps, so, everything should work out just fine once we get those. And, I started back on my drills that I was doing when I first came to Brian and he was switching up my technique. I hang bands from the bar and hang the weights from the bands. That way it sways and makes it very hard to control, so it teaches me to stay tight. It worked before. So, I figured that was the best solution if the problem really is that I was having trouble with balance while I was benching yesterday. Good days are the solution to bad days, so we'll figure that out as they come. And, after all of that is fixed, if there's still a problem we can examine the diet.

Cambered Bar Rows - 95 lbs., 12. 105 lbs., 8, 7. 95 lbs., 10.
Dumbbell Rows (single arm) - 35 lbs., 22 & 20.
HAD to edit this!! I FORGOT SHRUGS!! How dare I forget shrugs!! LOVE shrugs. Did 95 lbs., 3 sets of 12.
Commando Chin-Ups - 2 sets of 8 and a set of 5.
Face-down Inclined Lateral Raises - 15 lbs., 3 sets of 12.
Inclined Cable Bicep Curls - 30 lbs., 12. 40 lbs., 2 sets of 12. These worked out really well. He strapped me in very good. Still hard on the abs, but I think a third strap around the belly will fix that...unless he doesn't want to and wants to give me a good ab workout at the same time. It doesn't really matter :)
Chops - 30 lbs., 3 sets of 15.

Stretching! :) Thank you for always stretching me, Brian. :)

Broken Heart.

My wonderful Jack is moving to New Mexico to work...so now I must face getting used to a new massotherapist. I've been very sad about this all weekend. I'm happy for the opportunity he has. And I'm so thankful of how he's taking care of me before he leaves. He's already set me up with someone else and he's taking me to meet her before he leaves. But, it's just a major change and someone else to get used to and I don't know if I'll ever get used to that in my life, even though it's a constant must.

I'm having lots of trouble deciding what to say about today. I've re-written this post 3 times now. My bench was awful. It felt bad. It looked bad. I couldn't place the bar. It wasn't 'heavy' but, I felt like I could barely lift it. I remember when I first started my diet and was very strict on it, my muscles started feeling very tired before I got to a point where I was really doing anything to work them. Adam said I probably didn't have enough energy, so he upped my carbs. Not sure how to work that right now, since I'm purposely trying to lose weight. Then there's the fact that I've had trouble finding my groove every time I do a regular bench press ever since the deload week of my first cycle after competition. I feel like I've reverted back to when I started bringing the bar all the way to my chest and it scared me so bad to do so...I am scared I'm not going to get it back up. And I don't know why. And I feel like I'm not explaining it properly, which really REALLY frustrates me. Finally, there's the fact that Brian thinks I was just having a bad day. Which also frustrated me, because, he's probably right, and I'm probably wrong. But, the most frustrating part of my training has been when (any and all) of my trainers start telling me that I'm having a bad day or getting in my head too much or being mental about something and I don't feel as if I'm being that way at all. They've always turned out to be right, but it's the most frustrating b/c if I don't realize that I'm having an off day or that I'm being too mental about something, I don't know how to fix it. I'm not purposely trying to convince myself to worry about something. They've never said it was on purpose...I just get frustrated because I don't know what to do with myself or how to stop myself. Adam always said he wished that there was a button on the top of my head where he could shut off my brain. He isn't the only one that wishes that.

I don't know what was wrong today. Maybe it's a combination of everything. But, I should be able to do 135 lbs with one hand tied behind my back. I've been doing it since like a month after Brent left. And it's become my evil nemesis that follows me everywhere. That's my warm-up and that's what I do on bad days and that's what I do on deload weeks...it's there all the time and I feel stuck. I don't actually even know what he had me try on bench today. But I was only getting 3 reps and he wanted me to be getting 5, so he took me down to 135 lbs. He should have, b/c I was doing terrible. And I couldn't even groove 135 lbs. once he took me down. But, I think if he ever takes me any lower, it'd be a better idea to just call it a day. I just felt so wobbly. Then there's starting the new cycle, which now has two of my very least favorite exercises on the same day, so that should make things interesting. (No Brian, I don't want you to rearrange my cycle or take out any exercises.)

Here's the rest:
Decline Dumbbell Press - 35 lbs., 12. 40 lbs., 10. 45 lbs., 2 sets of 10. I had no visible, physical problems with these. I stayed on balance and handled them very well. I just have a lot of mental issues with db's.

Skullcrushers with some funky bar and I don't know how much he put on the ends. I actually liked them a lot though. The bar is more compact and easier for me to handle for skullcrushers.

The ever-so-lovely Front Raises. 15 lbs., 3 (?) sets of 12. They really are much better since he tried strapping me different last week. I know I will get used to them. They just pull me forward so much (or so it seems). He stands right there though, so I'll be fine.
Shoulder Horn - 10 lbs., 2 sets of 25.

And we do these new abs now, and it's a lot of fun. We use this nifty-looking half-ball thing. It has a flat part that lays on the ground, so you don't roll around or anything, but the top is like laying on an exercise ball. Brian says the name of it all the time, but I don't know if I could even pronounce it, or figure out how to spell it. But I know it starts w/ a 'b'. lol. I forgot to put this on as one of Friday's experiments. It's pretty cool. It's rather entertaining because Brian has to hold my legs, so he can do pretty much whatever he wants, even in the middle of my set. :-) He can make it harder or easier or whatever.

Stretching!!! Yay for stretching. My day always ends happy, no matter what happens in the middle. Love stretching.

I'll be back tomorrow. Brian has a seminar on Wednesday so I switched to tomorrow. Then I'll be back on Friday.

End Deload.

WHEW! Made it through another deload week ;-) Actually, deloads are starting to get a little better....as my bench goes up, so does the weight I get to do during deload week!

Very short day today. Very good day today :-)

Bench - 95 lbs for warm up. 135 lbs., 13, and then 3 sets of 5. The new bench material is COMPLETELY AMAZING. SO easy for me to get my arch and keep it. I don't slide AT ALL.
Tricep Pushdowns - I think we were up to 80 lbs. by the last set. Did about 12, 3 sets or so. Brian brought out his genius-self again today to strap me down better. It worked very well.
Shoulder Horn - 10 lbs., 2 sets of 25.
Front Raises - 15 lbs., like 3 sets I think, but not many reps, 8 or so I think. I think Brian's determined to make me like front raises.....don't tell him, but it's starting to work ;-) Today he strapped me much different and it felt much safer and made it a lot easier to concentrate the work on my shoulders instead of keeping steady or held down. They're still a hard exercise...and he's NOT allowed to move from behind me when I'm doing an exercise, no matter how strapped in I am...but, it worked out a lot better than usual. :-)

Stretching!!!!!! Love that part. I need to remember to include it more often, cuz he takes extra time to do it every day, and it helps me feel so much better.

And I forgot to mention on Wednesday that my cousins Patrick and Jack came to the gym to see me and meet Brian. :-D Made me very happy!!!

I have a very specific prayer request for all of my pray-ers out there. I found this machine from a company called NuStep. It's a stationery bike, but you can strap your feet onto the pedals, and you can order these accessories called leg stabilizers that hold the knees up, and you make the pedals of the feet move with your hands!!! SOOO I could exercise my legs!!!! EXTRAORDINARILY expensive...just keep it in prayer that one way or the other it could be that I come up with one. Thanks so much!

Genius

"Doing easily what others find is difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for talent is genius." - Henri Frederic Amiel.

“Knowing a great deal is not the same as being smart; intelligence is not information alone but also judgment, the manner in which information is collected and used" - Dr. Carl Sagan.

Both of these are perfect qutoes to describe what Brian's been able to do with me in training. He's found ways to do things that none of my previous 3 trainers were able to come up with. He is so intelligent and so talented at what he does that it boggles my mind. He didn't go out searching to become a nurse or a doctor simply because it paid a lot of money. He found something that he loves and is passionate about. He loves to help people and he's perfect at his job.

He's getting braver with me. He's pushing more limits. And, it's never going to be my favorite thing, but, I'm actually surprised at how okay I am with it all now, because I've had the chance to get to know him before I had to really trust him with a lot of major things at one time.

He's definitely still in for it with me. I'm still not quite over my embarrassment from all of last week's events of nature. And, unfortunately I think it still shows when I first go in. But, the more circumstances of life happen and the more he tests me in training, the quicker and better I'll learn that everything's okay and there's no need for embarrassment or fear. He still needs to not tip-toe quite so much when I don't like something. But, I think he saw that a little bit today. He'll learn that the more he pushes, the funner it actually becomes for him because he gets to tell me "I told you so" at the end. ;-)

Today was full of experiments. Not much of what I haven't experimented with before with the other guys...but the other guys never knew how to rearrange physics so that it worked for someone without leg use. Brian is master-genius at this. It really amazes me that he's never had experience with someone who's paralyzed because I've never talked to anyone with quite as much knowledge and understanding as he has. And on top of figuring out how to stabilize me all day, he even remembered to keep me talking...and even more importantly, he spoke up and reminded me that he's there and nothing's going to happen to me. And he did it discreetly and at the most needed time.

Cambered Bar Rows - (Genius part 1) 70 lbs (i think) 12, 4 sets of 10, and 12. He strapped me, PLUS he got this new material on his benches that makes ya stick instead of slide. It was AWESOME. And the strapping really helped to keep me from sliding side-to-side. These felt so good today.
Single Arm Dumbbell Rows - (Genius part 2) Brian gave me two 30 lb. dumbbells and had me hold onto one to stabilize myself while I 'rowed' with the other arm. Then do the same thing with the other arm. And he strapped me around mid-back. It was an improvement, but my butt was still sliding. SO, he strapped diagonal, so the strap was across the left side of my back and under the right side of my butt, and vice versa with the other side, so I was kind of laying in a sling. It was amazing. It helped so much.
Commando Chin-Ups - (haven't done these since Brent, I think). 2 sets of 10. I liked these too...much easier on my elbows.
I don't know what the next was called. Some kind straight-arm push down that is supposed to work my lats. He had me strapped across my legs, but, it kinda made my legs be in the way. He wasn't extremely happy with my feedback but I think with some tweaking that it'd probably work out. It wasn't my favorite, but it wasn't one that really bothered me. He had me do reverse ones too and I kinda liked those. I didn't think I'd be able to do them, but it wasn't bad. We were around 50 lbs & 60 lbs.
Cable Bicep Curls (both hands) - (Genius part 3) This was the most un-fun part of my day. Here he just got plain gutsy. He had me on the preacher curl seat, like when I do tricep stuff. He wanted me to curl up and I couldn't make my arms move. I felt I was pulling myself forward. So, he stood behind me and grabbed my shoulders...but about #3 he let go of my shoulders (but, kept his hands there). On the second set, he took my straps and strapped me diagonal both ways, like two seatbelts going in opposite directions. Again I began because he was holding my shoulders but he let go. He was right to do what he did...I know he's realizing more that when I say I can't do something, a lot of times it's fear, not being incapable. So, he has to figure out which one it is. But, I still told him that he sucked. o:-) He wants me to do them, but was trying to convince ME to say we should do them. Not going to happen. Doesn't mean I won't...but, it's not something that's going to be elected by me to be done. He said I was fine and not going to move, so I'm sure they're in the not-so-far off future. Oh, I was doing 30 lbs.

Because he tries so many different ways of things and really puts thought into what I'm doing, it makes me really believe him when he says that I'm fine and I'm not moving and the exercise is okay for me to do. Today, he was stepping away (except on bicep curls) and looking at me from all angles to see if I was moving around too much and what other ways he can secure me. I still trust him a lot more than my straps, because if one of my straps gives, the other isn't going to catch all my body weight. But, I know he's right there waiting to react if something should happen. And, in the mean time, he deserves some aid by my straps so there doesn't have to be 15 of him running around just so I can do one exercise.

Thank you all for listening today. I needed the emotional release of getting it all out.

Deload Week

Fairly short day. Very good but trust-testing. I'm not doin' too shabby...just can't talk a lot sometimes when we're doing certain things. And Brian knows it's coming now too, so he's ready before it happens :)

Reverse Band Press - 135 lbs. to warm up. 185 lbs., 3 sets of 15. 135 lbs., 1 set of 30.
Cable Rope Iron Cross - 70 lbs., 3 sets of 15.
Tricep Extensions - 3 sets of 15 with 3 different bars and 3 different forms. The first was a push-down with the triangle bar. The second was a reverse extension with a straight bar. The third was hammer extension with the straight bar that you grip out at the ends...I'm not sure what it's called.
Decline Dumbbell Bench - 35 lbs., 15. 45 lbs., 2 sets of 10. Brian used his brain and made his own decline with a flat bench and a piece of wood under it, then tucked my legs underneath and strapped them that way with one of my velcro straps. And he strapped my belly. He's very smart. He figures out all kinds of ways to let me know that I'm as secure as I'm gonna get. It still sucked, and it still really scared me, but I also knew I was okay. He was very aware of everything the whole time and watched my legs to be sure they didn't come out and caught the dumbbells when I almost dropped them on my third set. It always turns out fine, it's just not my first choice to use the dumbbells. Such is life. They are important for what I do, so, I will continue. :)

Stretching :)

Integrity

The first definition in the dictionary of Integrity is: adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

The second definition in the dictionary of Integrity is: the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished.

The first definition in the dictionary of Dignity is: bearing, conduct, or speech indicative of self-respect or appreciation of the formality or gravity of an occasion or situation.

When my grandpa was sick with cancer and was getting weaker, he had to hold onto the walls when he had to walk to the bathroom in his condo. His girlfriend said to me on a daily basis, while I was visiting, (so that he could hear her) "And of course he can't get a walker to help him get around. That would be just stupid." And every time she said it I wanted to say "Can you still walk yourself to the bathroom? Do you know what it feels like to NOT be able to go to the bathroom by yourself? He's trying to hold onto his integrity and dignity for as long as possible. Leave him alone!"

Everyone is very quick to lend a hand where help is needed. And I understand that people are well-intentioned and trying the best they know how. But extremely few people understand that the degrading feeling doesn't come because other people care that I need help. It comes because I care that I need help. And because that is so rarely recognized, my own dignity and integrity are shattered regularly because people want to explain with words that they don't mind helping me. I know. But it's extraordinarily hard to find the one who will explain with actions that my worth does not drop because of my differences. And when that is found, it is like finding the rarest, most precious, expensive jewel on earth. Most of you know the list of people I talk highly about that have told me or treated me as if my differences don't mean much, if anything to them, in the situations that I see them in. But, most of them I only see/saw under certain circumstances...not on a daily basis. It's harder to keep things from people when they're in our lives on a daily basis. There are less than a handful of people who have recognized when pieces of my self-respect and self-worth are laying on the ground and they need picked up before they are stepped on.

Brian fits the first definition of integrity perfectly. This week, Brian has managed to pick up the pieces of the second definition of integrity and the definition of dignity, bind them back together, place them in the most beautiful packaging and delicately and quietly present them back to me in one piece when I have believed I have lost them. And the biggest, most important part of that package has been to continually look me in the eyes. He's not embarrassed, he doesn't pity me, he's not uncomfortable. And I'm still worth just as much as before he knew anything about my life...before I had to share my 'dreaded' Spina Bifida side effects.

A lot of people start to judge me when I start to speak this highly of someone. I'd like to remind you to go back to my blog about my "Alabaster Box" from March. No one knows the price of the oil in anyone else's alabaster box. No one understands why small and insignificant actions can be so large and significant in the lives of others. I just want to stay as aware and thankful as possible of the blessings in my life, so that they are not taken for granted.

Sorry, that was little heavy. I tend to do that now and then. But, to me, it's worth acknowledging one hundred times over.

I had a great lift today. :-D He also seems to know what he's doing in the weight room. ;-) I'm getting stronger!!!!!! (and thicker also. lol.)

Bench Speed Drill - 115 lbs., and I THINK he used 2 chains today, not positive though. 3 sets of 3 with all 3 grips.
Close Grip - No chains. 135 lbs., 1 set of 5. Then singles to find max....found it at 180 lbs.!!!! YAY! Close Grip is harder than bench! I think the most I've probably ever done is 155 lbs. The stroke is longer because the arms are straighter than when the grip is wider. So, we were both really happy about that.
Blackburns - 5 lbs., 2 sets of 20.
Reach-Ups - 2 sets of 30.
Medball Bounes - 8 lbs., 2 sets. Not sure how long, but I had to stop on the second before he told me to.
And, stretching <3

Not a long day today, but with the maxing out, Brian took away some of the 'volume' of what we did, since the 'intensity' went up. He explains that to me all the time, so he'll be happy to know that I listen and I was able to say it the right way. :) Next week is deload. :( I was given my 'warning' today that that's how it's going to be. lol.

Everyone say a prayer for my open-house tomorrow. And, my friend Misty had to have surgery again this week. She had a pressure sore that she had to have grafted and the graft came open. :( Say prayers that she heals well.

Humility

Apparently I was getting big-headed about something and needed a lesson in humility to enter my life the last couple of days. There's nothing more humbling than being 27 years old and having to have conversations with your trainer about the bowel and bladder side effects that I live through...because there's nothing I can do to change it or make it go away. It's there, he knows, and I have to continue on looking him in the face during my training session. That's a pretty tough pill for someone to swallow...for me anyway. It's easier for me to talk about when it isn't going on, because everyone knows it happens to me. But, to be in the moment of it happening and have to admit that it's happening is....well, each one of you can finish that sentence in your own way. Kinda makes me laugh to think about what word each of you would choose.

Brian's great about it. He doesn't care. And I know I can trust him completely and I absolutely do. But that doesn't mean that when the opportunity presents itself that I like that it has to take place. I know it has to be hardest to train me on days like this because of my attitude. So, I'm thankful that he continues to. And, once he breaks the ice I usually loosen up pretty well. At least I feel like I do...I hope it shows, so that he continues to do it and doesn't let it last as long through my sessions.

Good training day. :)

Dumbell Rows (both arms) - 25 lbs., 10. 35 lbs., 8. 45 lbs., 8. 50 lbs., 6.
Single-Arm Dumbbell Rows. - one set of 32 with 35 lbs.
Shrugs - I think the first set was 95 lbs., 10. Then 120 lbs., 2 sets of 10. I love these. I really don't know why. My grip is terrible which makes them very difficult to do...but I really love them.
Chin-Ups - 10 without chain, 4 with chain, 10 without chain
Face-down Inclined Lateral Raises - 15 lbs., 3 sets of 12.
Inclined Barbell Bicep Curls - 45 lbs., 2 sets of 10 and a set of 12. Felt VERY strong on these today. Really like doing them inclined. We started that last week.
Chops - 30 lbs., 3 sets of 15. No holding today. I forgot until we were done, and apparently Brian did too...maybe next time. :)

I haven't heard from Mary for a couple of days, but keep praying for her. Pap's doing well. Cory's recovering at home. He is weak and needs help moving around and getting off the floor. But he's recovering.

Answered Prayer!

Cory got HOME today!!!!!! I was so relieved I cried!!!! Very, very thankful that everything turned out okay. He still has a lot of recovery but will probably do much better at home. He wasn't liking the nurses to do anything to him. Made me sad to hear.

Mary needs some prayers. She had her surgery on her mouth about a week and a half ago and she came up with an infection at the end of last week and they had to go back in. She's still not allowed to lift and she's on antibiotics. It's pretty frustrating.

Very good day today at the gym :-D

Bench with Bands underneath - We had a rough start (with my form...not with each other. lol.)and we couldn't figure out why, which made it even rougher for me. I was pretty close to losing it...but things started to gel. I'm not exactly sure what the difference was, but, at least it ended up working out. I did two sets of 6 with 135 lbs. with no bands. Then with the bands I did singles and worked up to 180 lbs. So, that's really good. 180 lbs., plus the band's extra weight, hopefully means I'm around 190-195 lbs. on a good day.
Dumbbell Floor Press - Went AWESOME today. I finally did 160 lbs. pretty comfortably. A little unsteadiness at the end, but not much. First was 150 lbs. for 6, then 160 lbs. for 6.
Floor Tricep Extensions supersetted with a Side-ways Tricep Extension - 20 lbs., sets of 6, I think we did 4 or 5. This went better today....felt better in my triceps on my left arm...that's where I have a lot of trouble with tendinitis.
Shoulder Horn - 10 lbs., 2 sets of 20.
Cable Rope Crunches - 110 lbs., 3 sets of 15.

AND! Stretching!!!!! We did the whole kit-n-kaboodle of stretching today. Feeling really great!

Very thankful for 3 orders for my fundraiser already. :-D And very thankful for Brian who's helping me to advertise and get the word out there as much as possible.

Fundraiser

I'm doing a fundraiser to help with costs for competitions, training, etc., through Tastefully Simple again. If any of you are interested in ordering any items, my mom's site is tastefullysimple.com/web/cfigley. You can view all the items on there and submit orders as well. Orders can be submitted through December 15th. I'm having a taste-testing next Saturday from 11-2 at the Shamrock, if any of you that are close enough would like to attend. If you can't come, say prayers for a good turnout please. :)

Cory had been tentatively coming home today. But, he got sick when he tried to eat this morning. The doctors said that he isn't tolerating food well enough, so they're going to shoot for sending him home on Monday. Say extra prayers for that. I'm sure that spending a holiday in the hospital was not a good deal. He's been in long enough and everyone's ready to have him home.

It's a good day to just skip talking about the workout ;) Wasn't what it should have been. I'm really having a hard time getting the hang of the 'speed' part. And, I don't really have a reason that it's so hard for my brain to comprehend....it just is. That's frustrating, cuz I don't know what to fix. Brian apologized today for 'being hard on me'. But, I told him that's his job. Maybe he needs to be hard on me a little more often.

Bench Speed Drill - 105 lbs. 3 sets of 3 with all 3 grips. I did the sets of regular grip with two chains. But, Brian was very unhappy about how it was going :( So, he took a chain off. Bummer. I finished the drill with one chain.
Close Grip was off too. Worked up to 135 lbs. but only got 4 today. I was rocking a little bit, from side to side, and I was having trouble hitting my chest where I'm supposed to. I have no idea why.
Tricep Pushdowns - 90 lbs., 10. 100 lbs., I did a set of 10, Brian helped with the last few. Then we did quick sets like last week at 80 lbs., 70 lbs., 60 lbs., & 40 lbs. and the lighter it got, the more reps I did.
Front Raises - I hate these. Today Brian had me on an adjustable bench and inclined it just a little, so that when I did it, my body wouldn't pull forward as badly. THEN he got real brave and told me to use both arms at the same time instead of alternating. I did it, and it worked, and I didn't move as much as I usually do. But I still hate them. Oh...I did 3 sets of 10 with 15 lbs.
Blackburns - 5 lbs., a set of 15.
Reach-Ups - a set of 25 and a set of 35.
Skipped Medball Bounces. We were very low on time and Brian wanted to be able to stretch me :-)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, nothing exciting today....which is really a very good thing. :) Not really any particular theme today to discuss. All is going well though.

Dumbbell Rows (both arms) - 30 lbs., 40 lbs., 50 lbs., all sets of 8.
Dumbell Single-Arm Rows - 40 lbs., 2 sets of 20. (this was really tough.)
Shrugs - 95 lbs., 10. 115 lbs., 4 & 8. Then Brian got wraps for me to help my grip so I could get some reps in for the last set and I did 18.
Chin-Ups - 2 sets of 10. Then a set of 5 with a chain around my neck, and 5 more without the chain...but Brian was helping me a lot.
Face-down Inclined Lateral Raises - 15 lbs., 3 sets of 12.
Barbell Bicep Curls - 45 lbs. Brian leaned the seat back a little more today...so it was inclined a bit instead of straight up. It really made me feel a lot better...like I wasn't going to tip forward. And I got a lot better range of motion.
Chops - 2 sets of 15, each side, with 30 lbs. Plus at the end of the second set, he had me hold the cable in front of me, arms extended, and I had to stay straight ahead. It was pretty tough...but I really liked it.

I hope everyone has a most fabulous holiday. Tomorrow will be the first time I haven't seen Brian since I came back from Oklahoma, I think. :( He probably needs a break from me though ;-) Lots to be thankful for this year!!!!!!!!

Hero

So, Chelsi just needs to learn how to talk to her trainers instead of A) Pretending nothing's wrong, or B) Getting really mad and fighting about what isn't really the problem. Haven't we done this mountain before, Blog Friends? Yes, I believe it was last year, right about this time. Chelsi needs to not be so hard-headed...she goes around the same mountain much more than she should

Anyway, Brian saved the day and found another exercise to replace the one from Friday's experience. He's the hero yet again. :-) Good day.

Bench Press w/ Bands Underneath - Worked up to 165 lbs. for 3. Then did 135 for 10 for my last set.
Dumbbell Floor Press - 45 lbs., 10. 50 lbs., 8. 55 lbs., 8. I think Brian helped on the last one or two. But that's MUCH better than last week!! Bands kicked my butt and I never got off of 45 lbs. for dumbbells.
Floor Tricep Extensions supersetted with a Side-ways Tricep Extension - 20 lbs., 3 sets of 6 each way and 2 sets of 5 each way.
Lateral Raises - 15 lbs., 10. 20 lbs., 2 sets of 10.
Shoulder Horn - 8 lbs., 2 sets of 25.
New Ab/Back Exercise...I sat on an inclined bench and pulled myself up (without using my hands) from laying back against the seat. Then, he added a 10 lb. weight for me to hold under my chin. THEN he got really fancy and had me hold it over my head. lol. Just different techniques to strengthen different ways and make it more difficult. And, hopefully I'll get stronger and he'll be able to lay the seat back a little more and a little more until I can come up from lying straight. We're going to work on something else for my back, with me laying on my stomach...but, that's gonna take a little more work.

Cory's doing much better, continue to pray. Pap's doing really well. Misty's graft came open a little over the weekend, but she was sent back home. So, we just need prayers that she heals okay. Mary (that I lift with) had surgery on her mouth today. So. prayers for a quick recovery, please.

I'm switching weight classes. I'm dropping down. I need to lose about 7-10 lbs. and my funding standard will be 217 lbs., instead of 240 lbs! So, I'm on the very strict end of my diet through the holidays, and Brian's brain is working towards cardio workouts for the next cycle. Should be interesting. I'm sure he'll figure a lot of stuff out though.

I'm thankful to have a trainer that makes being a 'bif' not so bad. :-D

Italian vs. Irish

That equals two hot heads who are always right about everything. Brian's been surprisingly calm since I've been getting to know him, and backed off of most debates so they don't turn into arguments...because I don't back off of too many. Today my luck turned. He wasn't letting go...and, I didn't let go there...but, I will listen. Because, he is right. I just hate the feeling of thinking I have the capabilities to do something and have it taken away from me. I live my life for normalcy at the expense of anything. Everyone else lives to make sure I don't hurt myself in the process.

We've been a good combo so far. And we'll continue to be. I've just never been good at sucking it up when it's time to throw in the towel....especially because there's, truly, next to nothing I can go in and do on my own, without someone to assist me. It's just one of those times that I wish someone was around to 'get' it. But, I know he does...even when someone 'gets' it, they can't let me get away with everything all the time. Just a little hurt in the heart because of my lack of leg support. One more hurdle to jump. I'm glad he cares so much about me to not back down when he feels it matters most. I have to have a little give...he lets me get away with stuff at times, but there are also times to pull the reins back.

Routine was really good today :-D

Speed Bench Drill - 95 lbs. + 2 sets of chains, regular, medium and close grip, 3 sets of 3 each.
Close Grip - Worked up to 135 lbs. + 2 sets of chains for 5 reps. Did two sets of 5 before that. Then a set of 8 with 95 lbs. + chains.
Tricep Pushdowns - 70 lbs., 12. 90 lbs., 10 (Brian had to help the whole time). 80 lbs., 2 sets of 10, with a little help from Brian...then he had me do some quick sets of 5 with just a few seconds between sets.
Front Raises - 15 lbs., 3 sets of 10.
Blackburns - 5 lbs., 2 sets of 15.
Reach-Ups - 2 sets of 20....Brian held my legs in the air and I had to touch my toes.
Med-Ball Bounces - 2 sets w/ 8 lb. ball for 40 seconds.
And - stretching - :-)

I'm sure we'll have more days like today...but, it's more because of my hard head than his. Just another reason I need to be thankful that he does everything that he does for me. Cuz, like I said on Monday, I'm a pain in the you-know-what to have to train.

My grandpa's doing much better. Cory's doing much better. Thanks for your continued prayers.

Prayers and Praises

Hey Everyone, Cory got out of ICU on Tuesday night. He was doing well, making improvements. But, he had a rough night last night. Please continue prayers for him. My grandpa was doing a lot better, but today he's very swollen...not sure what the swollen is all about, but it doesn't make me too happy. Prayers please.

My Uncle Joe is home from Fla. He and Uncle Fred and Uncle Mick came to see the gym on Tuesday and meet Brian and take pics, like last year when Uncle Joe came home. :) Love my family.

Very thankful for a surprise sponsor this week :) AND! I got invited by my national head coach to attend a 'new athlete's clinic' that she's only asking 5 new athletes with potential to attend.

Brian stretched me today. :D (as usual..but I just wanted to acknowledge it since I'm blogging). And we had a really good talk that eased my mind about some things. :) Things are great.

I felt very bad that I didn't add these things to yesterday's blog. They are all important enough to get a bonus blog to be mentioned, since I kinda got lost on a different subject yesterday.

Observing

I was watching Brian run around today. I started thinking about how I just sit there, and can't really help him with anything and I just lift the weight once he has everything set up. It's really a pain in the you-know-what to have to train me! All my trainer's deserve atta-boys. But, if Brian keeps me longer than a year, he deserves something more than that. I looked at him and thought "He probably wishes there were about 5 of him around...one to strap me, one to hand me weight, one to hold me down, one to set up the equipment, and one to load the weight that I need on whatever I'm doing". And I KNOW he wishes there were easier ways to stretch me. But, it throws physics all off whenever half of your body doesn't function. He tells me all the time that he's proud of me just for being there and not giving up....well, I'm pretty stinkin' proud of him for just being there and not giving up. All I have to do is push weight...the hardest part of my job is trust. I don't have to run around like a chicken w/ my head cut off though. Now that I trust him, my job is pretty much over. It's pretty crazy, all the stuff I go through with a trainer...once you're my trainer I think it's easier to understand why it's so hard for me to switch trainers. It's hard to find a system with someone when there's so many demands on one side. I feel demanding without even being demanding, just because I can't do half the things. Just what I observed for the day...just reiteration that I need to stay thankful and humble for all that Brian does for me and never take it for granted.

Anyway, here's today's workout:

Dumbbell Rows (both arms) - 25 lbs., 12. 35 lbs., 12. 2 sets of 45 lbs., 12. Brian didn't hold me on these today. Neither one of us thought he'd need to...but, every time I pulled my arms up, I slid back a little. So next week he's going to hold me like he does on Single-Arms.
Dumbbell Single-Arm Rows - 30 lbs., 2 sets of 25.
Shrugs - 95 lbs., 10. 2 sets of either 105 or 115 lbs., I'm not sure what he added. 5, & 8. I was quite disappointed at these. I know I've shrugged more before. My grip was just bad. I still need to work on it.
Chin-ups - 3 sets of 8....haven't done these for a while...a little weak, Brian helped a little.
I'm not sure what the next exercise is called...it's prolly something pretty simple that I should know...it was similar to a "T" that I do in YTW, but I was laying flat, and I kept my arms bent a little bit. Anyway, I did 1 set w/ 12 lbs., 12. Then 2 sets with 15 lbs., 12.
Barbell Bicep Curls - Used the EZ bar and started w/ 5 lbs., each side, 1 set of 10. Then two sets of 10 with 10 lbs. on each side. Brian held me back once he put the 10's on...it helped SO much.
Chops - 30 lbs., 3 sets of 15, both sides.

New Cycle

Today started a new 4-week lifting cycle. I'm really tired. lol. It kicked my butt. But, that's great. Makes me happy. Good day.

Bench Press with Bands - 135 lbs., 145 lbs., 155 lbs., 135 lbs., all for 5. This time the bands are down underneath the bench instead of hanging on top the rack. So, it's pulling it toward me, instead of hanging away from me.
Dumbbell Floor Press - 45 lbs., 4 sets of 10...Brian had to guide me on the last few of just about every set, but I don't know if he actually helped me.
Floor Tricep Extensions supersetted with a Side-ways Tricep Extension - 15 lbs., 6 sets of 6 both ways.
Lateral Raises - 15 lbs., a set of 12 and 2 sets of 10.
Shoulder Horn for Rotator Cuff - 8 lbs., 25. 10 lbs., 20.
Rope Crunches - 90 lbs., 100 lbs., 110 lbs., all sets of 15.

Prayer Updates: Pap's still swollen, they're switching his water pill. He's very unsure on his feet and doesn't want to drive or go up and down steps. But I think he feels okay. Cory had surgery today on two abscesses and he has fluid on his left lung and he's going to be doing respiratory therapy. Misty's surgery site is healing well. There's much more to be praying for, but these were the most severe for now. Thanks everyone. :)

10 lb. gain!!!

So, today I got a surprise max-effort day. :-D Love it. Did about 5 reps at 135, 3 at 155, hit a couple singles and maxed at 185 lbs.!!!!!!! YAY!!!! That's up 10 lbs. from before my meet!! Very excited about that. So's Brian. :-)

After Bench, I did 6 sets of 12 tricep pushdowns, 1 set at 70 lbs., 2 sets at 80 lbs., 3 sets at 70 lbs. Then I did some pulls similar to Rope Iron Crosses on the cable but it was with the wide bar. I did 4 sets, not sure how many, I Iet Brian count. 50 lbs, 70 lbs, 100 lbs, 60 lbs. Med Ball bounces with 8 lbs.

I forgot to get my info from Wednesday. I know I did Cambered Rows, I think with 85 lbs. I did a set of Single Arm Dumbbell Rows, 35 lbs. I did 29 with the right arm and 28 with the left arm. I did 20 lb hammer curls, I think a couple sets of 10. Lateral Raises facedown on the incline, 15 lbs. I can't remember what else.

Forgot to add all my prayer request updates: My grandpa came home today. Misty's surgery went well, but she's in a lot of pain. And my cousin Cory is doing pretty good, talking more and the pain seems to be subsiding. He might get moved from ICU soon.

Prayers Please

My grandpa has been in the hospital since Monday morning. Just got moved from ICU to a regular room tonight. Everyone say an extra prayer for my grandpa. Things are looking really good at this point, but extra prayers never hurt. Also, my cousin's 3 year old son was kicked in the stomach by a horse on Sunday. He had to have surgery to repair a perforated bowel today and get bile cleaned out of his lungs. He's in ICU. And one more...my friend Misty, whom I went to camp with, has surgery tomorrow to graft a pressure sore. She has 3 kids and her husband has two jobs. Please say prayers for all of these this week.

I did work out today. It went really well. Brian has really figured out how to work my back in the most productive way. But, I can't even think to remember what all I did, let alone my weights. So, I'll get everything from him and I'll post it with Friday's training blog. Brian stretched me today (as always) and he said he is noticing some change in one of my knees not being so contracted. And, I've noticed my hips not being so bad for about a month now. Feels so much better. I'm glad it's working. I'm so thankful that he takes the time to help me out with it.

Blessed

Hey everyone, it's deload week. And I was already warned last week not to be giving any grief about it. So, since I'm a good girl, I'll do what I'm told. ;-)

Reverse Band Press - 135 lbs., 20. 165 lbs., 2 sets of 20 with pauses for about a set and a half.
Dumbbell Floor Press - 45 lbs., 3 sets of 10.
Floor Tricep Extensions supersetted with a Side-ways Tricep Extension - 3 sets of 8 both ways.
Arnold Presses - 20 lbs., 3 sets of 12.
Y,T,W - 10 lbs., 1 set of 12.
Stretching :)

Everything went really well today. I'm more blessed than I could ever express to any of you to have found Brian to train me. He "gets it." That's rare and it literally makes it easier to breathe when I come across it. That "it" encompasses a great many things. The whole situation puts me in awe of my God and the things He does for His children. I know that He's been preparing Brian for many years, even though Brian didn't know it, to get ready to train me and be a mentor in my life and become a part of 'my family'. I'm reminded every day, because of Brian's generosity & how much he cares for what he does & who he works with, to stay completely humble and thankful for what I've been given in my life.....it doesn't always come in the ways that we want it to or think it should, but what we need is always provided for us.

Off

Not the best, definitely not the worst...just a little 'off'.

I forgot to add to Wednesday that I did Lateral Raises, facedown on an Incline, I did a set with 15 lbs and i think two sets with 20 lbs.

Today:
Speed Drills - 90 lbs, 3 sets each grip, plus two singles with 135 lbs (i think).
Close Grip - 135 lbs., 5. 155 lbs., 4. 135 lbs., 8.
Single Arm Tricep Pressdowns - 30 lbs., 2 sets of 12 & a set of 10.
Alternating Military Dumbbell Press - 25 lbs., 12. 35 lbs., 7.
Blackburns - 20
Spread Eagle Sit Ups - 3 sets of 15.

Stretching. :-D

Dethroned ;-)

Well everyone....it's a sad, sad day in Chelsi-ville. I picked my perfect training time when Brian quit his job to be at the gym full time, because I'm the princess so I got dibs. But, tonight Brian dethroned me. He is training someone else too close to my time, so I must forfeit my perfect plan and go an hour earlier.

LOL. I don't really care. Just have to bust his chops a little bit. And I needed a title for tonight's blog anyway. :-D

We had a really great day today. We hit it pretty hard b/c, well A) it's max week, so we're supposed to, but B) I missed out on a lot last Wednesday when I wasn't feeling good. But, it felt awesome and it went really well.

Cambered Rows - 100 lbs. a couple sets of 5 or 6.
Dumbbell Single Arm Rows - 35 lbs., 1 set of 25 each arm. This actually goes very well, when I learn to get over myself. It really helps me out a lot when Brian puts his hand on the opposite side of my back. Works very well to steady me.
Shrugs! - Worked our way up to 135 lbs.! YAY! I did 6. I had done 10 & 8 in the previous sets, but not sure what weight.
Hammer Curls - 15 lbs., 10. 20 lbs., 10. 25 lbs....can't remember how many I did, but I think 10 sounds good. It might have been 8.
Chops - 3 sets of 15, both sides. first set 20 lbs., second and third were 30 lbs.

Stretching! Yay!

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS BRIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He finalized everything on the gym today!!!! He really owns it now!!!!!!! Thank you everyone for your prayers!!!!!!!!

Okay, back to the workout stuff. Today was a max-effort day.

Reverse Band Press - 185 lbs., 5 reps. 225 lbs., 3 reps. Then I did 3 singles, last one at 270 lbs.
Then the dumbbells & I had a battle of wills today and the dumbbells won. I'm not sure what Adam and I did to smooth all that stuff over but I need to find a remedy to make me buck up again REAL quick. I'm very out of practice and it made me REAL mad.
Lying Barbell Tricep Extension - We used the 35 lb. barbell, I'm not sure how much weight. We did 3 sets, Brian had to help me with the last rep of the last set. I did 10, 8, 6. But, I'm not sure if he had 2 1/2 lbs. or 5 lbs. to start and I'm not sure what he increased it by.
Rope Crunches - 80 lbs., 20. 110 lbs., 12. 130 lbs., 12.
Y,T,W, - 5 lbs., 20 each way.

Stretching :) Love the stretching.

Happy Birthday To Me!!!!!

Yesterday was my birthday! I turned 27. But, birthdays are no fun just being one day. So I had another birthday today! ;-) But, I decided to stay 27 today and not turn another year that quickly. lol. I found out on my birthday yesterday that I have a double ear infection :-( So, I'm on antibiotic for a few days. I was still totally feeling like crap today, but my workout went really well!! And I don't think Brian backed any of my weight down. And I felt much better after I worked out. I usually do.

So, tonight for my birthday my parents & I took Brian & his fam to Struthers for dinner. It was such a perfect, fun night. I had a blast and I'm so glad they came. The food was excellent. And the company was perfect. And they got me a sweatshirt from Elite Fitness that says "Lift Strong." It's awesome! :) So are they.

Oh yeah, I guess you probably want to know about my workout, since that's really why ya'll read my blog, huh?

Bench Press Speed Drill - 85 lbs., 3 sets of 3 reps with all three grips (regular, medium, close). He ended up putting on a set of chains, but I can't remember what set he started that on. Then I ended up doing a set of 2 with 125 lbs., and 1 set of chains and then a single with 125 lbs. and two sets of chains.
Close Grip Bench Press - Not sure how many sets...of 5 reps, ending with 150 lbs (i think).
Single-Arm Tricep Pressdowns - 3 sets of 12, 30 lbs.
Alternating Dumbbell Military Press - 30 lbs., 12 & 7. 25 lbs., 9 (i think)
1 set of 10 Blackburns
Spread Eagle Sit Ups - 3 sets of 15.

Wonderful day. Makes me really appreciate what I have and not want to take it for granted. Hopefully I'll take care of it all well enough that I won't have to trade any of it in for a very long time.

OH! Brian gets to close on MONDAY!!!!!!! Thank you for all your prayers. Let's keep 'em comin' this weekend to make sure the deal gets sealed.

Sick :-(

Well, that cold that I woke up with on Saturday has turned into the biggest monstrosity of a headache that it possibly could be. No fever or major flu symptoms, so no one has to panic. Just a stupid, ridiculous head cold that's having a good time playing games with me. Dr. tomorrow morning, on my birthday :-( Not what I wanted to do. But, I DEFINITELY don't want to miss Friday, so, I must make sure it's taken care of pronto.

Took it easy today...Brian's idea, but I was glad in the end.

Cambered Bar Rows - 85 lbs. 4 sets (i think) of 10.
Dumbbell Rows - 25 lbs., 3 sets of 10.
Lateral Pulldown - I totally don't know how much weight. Maybe 50? 3 sets of 10.
Cable Rope Iron Cross - 20 lbs., 2 sets of 25
Hammer Curls - 15 lbs. (i think) 3 sets of 15.

Wow, I really didn't pay much attention today. I thought I remembered more than that. Sorry all....I'll be back to normal soon.

Prayers for Brian and the gym please!!!!!!!!

Finding My Groove

Life is good. :-) Jack came back after being on vacation for almost two weeks. I was so happy to see him. I missed him being around. It is pomegranate season....my FAVORITE! My birthday is this Thursday. <3 Love my birthday <3 My parents and I are taking Brian and his family to my favorite restaurant in Struthers on Friday. Love taking people there....so proud of what has been accomplished down there. I get to cheat on my diet to get my favorite food since it's my birthday week. I haven't had gnocchi for over a year!!!!

And my workout was completely awesome today. :-D It was one of those days that you wish you could freeze in time and repeat over and over. I was kind of surprised because I've had a cold for a few days and didn't know just how run down I was with my strength, even though I don't feel bad. But, I have been eating right again. And I know that dumbbells are going to get better as I start to get used to doing them again...and it seems that the same rings true for reverse band presses. Brian said I really started to find my groove on them today. My last three sets went better than the first two (hmmm...that sounds like a familiar trend.)

Reverse Band Presses - I did some warm-up of 6 reps, but I'm not sure how much weight was on it. Then I did 235 lbs., 245 lbs., 250 lbs., & 255 lbs. Felt AWESOME. I think that doing these is going to help get me used to seeing the bar loaded with more weight, so it won't be as intimidating when I go to try the heavier weight without the bands holding it.
Dumbbell Bench Press - 3 sets of 8. 50 lbs., 55 lbs., 60 lbs. Went REALLY well today. It's still awkward, because Brian has me using a different form. But, it went SO much better than last week.
Lying Barbell Tricep Extension - 55 lbs., 3 sets of 12. 60 lbs., 2 sets of 12...Brian helped with last two reps.
Lateral Raises - 15 lbs., 2 sets of 10.
Rope Ab Crunches - 4 sets of 15. 70 lbs., 90 lbs., and 2 with 110 lbs.
Y, T, W - 1 set of 15 each way.

Stretching :-D

The only thing that would help make life a little better right now (actually, a lot better), is for Brian's deal to be finalized with the gym. I've been very bad. I keep forgetting to ask for prayers when I blog. But, please, everyone, pray this gets done soon. It's at a very frustrating state. This is going on the 5th week that he's been supposed to close and it hasn't happened yet. Please pray that everything gets completed as soon as possible. It would really lift a big burden off of all involved. Thanks everyone!!!

Speed Day

Good day. :-) Really there wasn't a bad day this week. Just me and my brain having our normal go-arounds. My workouts are great though. Very pleased.

Speed Drill (in rack) - 80 lbs. 3 sets of 3 with regular grip. 3 sets of 3 with medium grip. 3 sets of 3 with close grip. All rested on rack when brought down and then exploded up as quick as possible.
Close Grip Bench - 135 lbs., 5 reps. 140 lbs., 5 reps. 145 lbs., 5 reps.
Single Arm Tricep Pressdown - 1 set of 12 with 30 lbs. 2 sets of 12 with 20 lbs. - My triceps are so weak :-(
Alternating Dumbbell Military Press - 30 lbs., 12. 30 lbs., 6. 25 lbs., 10. I was shocked at these numbers. My shoulders are apparently not used to doing this anymore. But, I'm sure they'll rebound soon. lol.
Blackburns - 5 lb. Dumbbells, 3 sets of 10. Rotator Cuff & Trap exercise. Pull scapula together, bend arms up at elbows, rotate parallel with the floor, straighten arm, pull back, rotate back toward floor, release scapula. :-)
Spread Eagle Sit Ups - 10, & 2 sets of 12. More like crunches than sit-ups. But, I'll get better, eventually.

Stretching!! Brian's awesome...my legs feel so loose and are so much more comfortable when I lay down and such. I so appreciate that he wants to take the time to help me out with stretching them out.

Bonus Blog

Hey everyone,

I'm kind of doing a juggling act here. I try not to be too down on my blogs on a bad day, because Brian reads my blogs. He has such a good heart and feels bad when things don't work out how they should have. But I told him before we started together that I don't want coddled so I try not to do too much "Woe is me" on my blog. (Although, I did a decent number on Monday, eh?) I want him to find that line and treat me like a powerlifter, unless it really is actually going to hurt me or not be productive in any way. I want him to ignore the fact that I hate half the stuff because it makes me feel different, and get in my face about whether I really want to be there if need be someday. So, I don't want to talk too much in the opposite direction. (I'm not saying he doesn't already do that, I'm just saying I want to keep it that way)

But, I also know that a lot of you learn from a lot of the stuff I go through and end up posting, so, I try not to cut too much out either. A lot of you give me your own personal feedbacks (even though you don't leave me blog comments) and I really appreciate knowing that I help you through things. And this is definitely worth posting.

Brian recently asked me when I learned to accept that this is how life is going to be. That I'm in a chair and I can't walk. I told him that I'm not sure that you ever really accept it. There's too many situations out there that are new and unexperienced, so you don't actually know that you've accepted it until you've gone through the situation and react to it.

I know I've been with Brian for over two months now. It's gone amazingly well. But...two months is not all that long to know someone...no matter how you slice it. So, unfortunately for me, I'm still having some of the same feelings that I have when I'm trying to get used to someone new in my life.

Today was not near as bad as Monday, which was why I didn't originally want to say anything. But, as I was doing rows, especially the single-arm ones, I had to keep adjusting my position because of balance and doing a one-arm exercise. And, it embarassed me. Brian had to put his hand on one side of my back to keep me from moving around so much, and it actually embarassed me. It's completely embarassing to me that I physically cannot do my exercises on my own. I like one-armed rows, because of how it works my back....but, there was an actual conscious thought process of how embarassing it is that he has to reach over and hold me down to do them properly (although, I'm grateful he knows what to do without me telling him).

I have prayer and scripture at church this coming Sunday and what I'm going to talk about is not having to do things perfect the first time. But, that the perfection of it all is that you keep getting back up and doing it until you are able to achieve it...no matter how many times you fail. Then I saw this video that someone posted on Facebook: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MslbhDZoniY. Please take a moment right now and watch it before you finish my blog.

See, the most important thing is that I didn't stop and get back in my chair and leave the gym because I was embarassed. I finished. And, sometime, in the future, I'm going to be strong enough that I'm going to be able to do 30 lb. Single-Arm Rows for 25 reps without having Brian hold me. But, if I stopped trying, it would never happen. If I stopped trying, I'd never make it to competition qualification. If I stopped trying, I'd be stuck just believing that there's something that I should be embarassed about. But there's not. So, I have to keep going, and keep training my body, AND my mind. Because, it doesn't matter where you start. It matters that you finish....And I'm going to finish strong.

Hard Hittin'

WOW! I'm still sore from Monday, and we really hit it hard again today...can't wait to see what tomorrow brings! lol. Yesterday was interesting. I woke up hardly sore at all and ended up still sore today. Crazy. But it feels good to me. I'm taking advantage of it this week, because I haven't been sore for so long...then next week, if Brian wants me to start recovering a little quicker, I'm going to have to get after some remedies. I'm not fond of 'deload' week because it's so light and boring...but I'm thinking that now that I'm into the meat of Brian's training I'm going to need it!!! lol.

Had a great day though!

Cambered Bar Rows - 1 set of 10 @ 65 lbs. 2 sets of 10 @ 85 lbs. 1 set of 10 @ 95 lbs. 1 set of 10 @ 85 lbs.
Single-Arm Dumbbell Rows - 3 sets of 25. Absolutely killed me :) Brian wrote down 30 lbs. But, I really thought it was 20 lbs. I can't imagine that I could get through 25 reps with 30 lbs., but, maybe I don't know my own strength! He was writing everything down as I did it, so, he was probably right.
Shrugs!! YAY!! They're back!! - 3 sets of 12. I think the first two sets were 95 lbs., and then the 3rd was 105 lbs. or something like that.
Lateral Pull-down - 3 sets of 12 @ 80 lbs.
Lateral Raises, facedown on an Incline - 2 sets of 12 @ 15 lbs.
Hammer Curls - 3 sets of 12 @ 15 lbs. (piece of cake. lol)
Cable Chops (twisting from one side to the other, starting with hands high and ending low) 2 sets of 15 @ 10 lbs. 1 set of 15 at 20 lbs.

SO happy to be back into working everything out and really going at it. Feels so good. Both great workouts this week. Very happy. (Well, except for that whole balancing dumbbells thing)

Ready or Not

Who ever said it gets easier the more you do it? I think they're full of crap. I think what gets easier is that you learn to mask how much it still absolutely sucks that you have to go through it.

I did dumbbells on a bench today...I really think it was the first time since I left Adam. Maybe Brian and I did incline one night at the very beginning. Dumbbells on a bench and dumbbells on the floor are VERY different. And I remembered just how un-fun it is when I'm not used to it. But, I'm home, typing out my blog, so I guess I'm going to live to see another day. Abs were an experiment today. Not fun, but, they're going to work. My trainers have always told me in regards to food that the worst it tastes the better it is for you...well I say ditto for training exercises.

Story of my training journey...learn to trust!! Learn to trust myself...learn to trust my trainer. Apparently I didn't realize that while we were tapering off all the exercises to get ready for competition, that we were tapering everything I despise...I got quite comfortable there for a while. But, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Just hopin' that Brian gets used to me being uncomfortable and stands his ground when I'm not liking things...when the trainer is certain I can do it, it makes it feel a little safer to proceed with the process.

But, enough complaining. Nothin' I haven't gone through before. Time to suck it up, Powerlifter.

I feel awesome. It feels like I'm going to be so sore tomorrow, and I'll be so happy if I am. :) I feel so much looser when I'm sore, and I haven't been sore for a really long time. I'm pretty tired, because it was the first time I worked out really hard in a while. But, it really was an awesome workout.

Reverse Band Presses - I did a few sets of 10 at increasing weights and ended up at 225 lbs and got 5.
Dumbbell Bench - 45 lbs., 10. 50 lbs., 10. 55 lbs., 8 (Brian was helpingquite a bit). 45 lbs., 10.
Lying Barbell Tricep Extension - 2 sets of 10 with 55 lbs. 1 set of 10 w/ 55 lbs. + chains. 2 sets of 10 with 55 lbs. 1 set of 10 with 45 or 50, not sure.
Lateral Raises - 12 lbs., 3 sets of 10.
Rope Ab Crunches - ended up at 120 lbs., for like 20 or something like that.
Y,T,W - 5 lb. Dumbbells, 1 set of 15 each way.
And stretching. :-)

!!!Presses!!!

Thank you Brian. :-D

I got to do 225 lbs. today ladies and gentleman!!!!!!!! Well, kinda. lol. Somehow Brian decided to let me do a little more work today. I think he could tell it was drivin' me crazy to take it so easy. So, we did reverse band presses. So, it doesn't feel as heavy as it actually is coming off of your chest because the band is holding it in the air. We started with 135 lbs and I did 10. Then I'm not sure, but he might have added 25's to that to make it 185 lbs and I did 10. And then he put on 225 lbs, and I did 4. It felt really good. I really feel my right tricep shaking...it's weaker than it should be. But, that's the mission for the winter...working on the triceps. Other than that, it felt awesome. I also got to do some Close Grip Bench - 3 sets of 10 with 95 lbs. Then Brian said "That's enough." I got my taste of it. Gotta work back up to pushing hard. So, we did some Bicep Curls with 10 lbs., 3 or 4 sets of 20, and some Band Tricep work and some Shoulder Traction with the Bands. And of course stretching.

Was nice to feel a little more than 95 lbs. So glad he lets me get away with stuff when it's not in the plans. :-)