Bittersweet

Well, today decided to combine itself into being my very favorite kind of day and my very least favorite kind of day, all in one. :-/

Brian and I sat and talked for an hour all about training and what happens in cycles and why it isn't as easy as just loading more weight on the bar and how you get a carry over from other exercises and how you peak from that carry over and before you peak, then you're in the valley. It was absolutely awesome. I loved it. My brain doesn't think like that. I don't understand all the technical science stuff. So, I love listening to him and learning more about it...the more we talk about it, the more mentally sound I think I'm getting with everything because it really does help to know that stuff. I never believed him when he would tell me that before. I just wanted to go lift. However, it's a huge help to know what to expect and when.

The downfall was that this whole conversation took place after 170 lbs. absolutely refused to come up off my chest. I'd lower it but there was absolutely no press at all. It just stayed down. :-( I was very frustrated (that's putting it tactfully). I've been so much better mentally this past month. I'm not worried about weight anymore after handling that 185 so well in Cincy. So, I don't know what the problem is. But, I do feel better than I normally do after a bad day like that, since we talked for so long and in detail of so much of the training stuff. Brian said he wasn't sure what's going on either....but the more he talked, I think he has a pretty good handle on it. I think he panics like me, but he's better at hiding it than me. It's not a very comfortable thing to watch (or to be the one it's happening to) someone get buried by something 20 lbs. lighter than what they are capable of lifting!! But, I think that he's watched me enough that inside he really knows that I'll recover soon. We just got away from doing my competition stuff.

It'll be A-OK. I'm getting better at handling days like this...pretty soon, we'll both automatically know that neither one of us did anything wrong....it's just a matter of my insanely habitual body needing to do the same thing over and over and over and over and over (well, you get the point). But, ya can't do that all the time and also stay healthy. So, I have to understand that my transition times take longer than a lot of people and that I always suck during that time. As soon as I can wrap my brain around that, I'll be able to take it all in stride. Understanding the training is helping a great deal with that. :-)

Mom & I set up at Springtime in the Village today for my Chinese Auction. The weather was very icky so we didn't get a great turnout. There were some that came and supported me though, and I'm very grateful. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!!!!