Follow Your Gut.

There's a famous saying. "You know your body better than anyone else." Unfortunately, we get downplayed by people in (perceptively) authoritative positions...and sometimes they're right, and sometimes they're wrong. It just so happens that this time, they happened to be wrong, and I listened to outside sources a little too long.

For a while now I have been complaining about how I can't do as many reps as I used to. Brian kept telling me it was because he was training me to do less reps. I also get told (in general) that I worry too much and over-think everything, and I know I have to trust Brian as my trainer if he's going to be able to train me properly, so I just assumed that's what it was. I ask every so often, but he really seemed convinced that was the only issue and so I wouldn't inspect any further.

I haven't been happy with my energy level that I have for a very long time, since long before I left Adam. But, my bench kept increasing, and that's the most important thing, so no one ever messed with the diet I was on because 'it seemed to be working.'

Then there's the "mental" part. If I've ever beat a dead dog, the mental dog would be it. I've blogged about it numerous times. But, I bought into the advice that I was being handed by countless people and just assumed I needed to be better mentally prepared. But, ya know something? As upset as I seem to get and as dramatically as I respond to things, I've come to the conclusion recently that I'm probably more mentally ready to rise to any challenge than 3/4 of the people handing me the advice. And, as I was coming to this conclusion on my own, Brian looked at my yesterday and said "Anyone that sees you on that TRX System would never doubt your mental strength." ....of course, I think that a lot of people don't understand the situation to the fullest, to understand the mental strength it takes, but, I understood that he was telling me to quit doubting my mental strength, because it's there even if people don't 'get it'.

Today we did sets of 3. He loaded 145 lbs., and 3 reps didn't go very swimmingly. And it DEFINITELY should. But, I got it, nonetheless, so, moving on assuming I misgrooved or something, he loaded the bar again with a higher amount. I don't know exactly what it was. I didn't ask, and he didn't offer. But, I know it was somewhere around 165-ish. I got one rep and the second one fell to my chest. That was it....I could do no more. I told him to let me try it with my back flat instead of arched. So, I sat up to get a drink of water and give myself a break. And laid back down to try again....and couldn't even achieve one full rep. It was heavy. That's not good.

Now, 165 lbs. is nothing to sneeze at......unless your one rep max just over a month ago was about 25 lbs more than that. That's a very bad thing. So, I'm less than 10 weeks out of a meet and I got one touch-and-go rep of only 5 lbs. more than my best competition hold 5 months ago. That's not good either. And it isn't because I was not mentally prepared to come lift today. It's because I don't have energy and my arms don't want to move. The weight keeps getting increasingly heavier to me and I'm not lifting weight that's any heavier.

I'm not sure how big of a hole I'm in by not pushing the issue more. I should have had Brian adjust my diet as soon as I started with him. But, I didn't. I don't know how long it will take to recover. I don't know how it works, cuz I've never been here before. I don't know if I eat really great this week and come in next week and lift the world, or, if I head to the biggest qualification of my entire life (to this point), lifting the same thing I did the last time I saw my national coach. Only time will tell.

I'm not blaming anyone....except for maybe myself. Brian was wonderful today....Brought be right upstairs and spent 45 minutes reconfiguring my diet. Guardian Angel to the rescue. I'm just very, very frustrated that I've felt that's been the ongoing problem for a while and I listened to everyone else. I know Brian will fix it....I just am unsure of how much he can fix in 9 1/2 weeks.

Welcome, again, to the ups and downs of my journey.