Raising Up

I did work out a bit today. Got to do some chest floor presses and triceps pushdowns and use my very favorite TRX system. The lifting felt better today, although, we didn't do anything very heavy. But, Brian's getting it all sorted out.

While I was using the TRX today, Brian came up with another fantastic brainstorm. He 'built up' an aerobic step, so that my body wasn't at such an angle to do push-ups. It worked out REALLY well, but, he has to hold my legs, cuz they wanted to slide off. Since that worked out so smoothly, he had me try it with the Rollouts also, and THAT was awesome also. It's still demanding on me, but, it was a much better demanding than before. It took off a lot of bad, unnecessary stress on my lower back.

This was a really rough week for me....which in turn makes it a really rough week for Brian. I'm very dramatic in my reactions to life, and most people don't know how to deal with it, and I think most people take it offensively, as if I'm angry with them. But, that's not the case. I'm so thankful that Brian was able to hang in there with me until I could calm down to explain that to him. We had a really great talk on Thursday. It made me feel better, and I think it made Brian feel better because he understood me better. And he assured me, a couple of times, that he's here to stay.

When he was talking about adjusting my angle on the TRX, he said he thought it'd be a good idea to 'raise me up'. Then, when I was done with a set of roll-outs, I was kind of stuck hanging. I couldn't get my upper body back to a sitting position, so Brian had to hold my legs, and at the same time, grab my shoulder to bring me backwards. When I sat down, he smiled and said "You were really relying on me for that one weren't ya." That's pretty much how most of my training goes. Options to not be dependent are limited without the function of legs.

I can't seem to find a way to express correctly in words(although, I don't think that's ever going to stop me from trying) how good he is at paying attention to the smallest details and knowing what needs done, sometimes even before I do, and knowing how to increase my capabilities by the slightest movements I make. And his compassion and willingness to listen and remain calm when I'm having such a horrendous week is just uncanny to me.

I know I would have reached my goal if I never met him.....but, it was so much harder to keep going before I knew him. Dreams aren't supposed to be that way. It's DEFINITELY still not a cake-walk. And, as long as I have to deal with the way my brain functions, it's never going to be a cake-walk. But, it's so much easier when there are two people working with each other toward the same goal. He actually cares whether I reach my dreams or not....it's not just a job that I'm paying him to do.

I have learned so much, and continue to grow and mature because Brian's so willing to help me through anything and find a fix and figure anything out that he can. I always thought I was good at persevering and not giving up, but, to me, Brian is even more magnificent at it. Anyway, Brian said he was going to 'raise me up' today to take the unneeded stress off during my exercise. But, Brian 'raises me up' on a daily basis and eases my mind of many things that I unnecessarily stress and flip out about. I'm eternally grateful to God, My Father, for this modern-day miracle that has entered my life. I don't think many people are so lucky as to find their Guardian Angel while they're still living here on earth.

This song came to mind today when I was finished...the first verse for Brian, and the last verse for My Lord.......the chorus for both of them. They seem to be a team working together to mold me into what I'm supposed to be and accomplish in life. Listen when you have a moment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYFC4god31o