I Get It

Brian has always said to me "Relax." That's his answer....probably upward of 85% of the time. It has really frustrated me most of the time because I didn't know how...and I also didn't think it was an answer to much of anything. .....Now I get it. Finally....after (almost) 2 years. I get it.

I try to force things to happen. I want things so badly that I try to produce (or reproduce) things, instead of just letting them happen naturally. I want to be mentally strong so badly that I try to force myself to be mentally strong. I want to have a 200 lb bench so badly that I try to force myself to have a 200 lb. bench. I try to have all my ducks nice and neat in a row. I've been so frustrated for the last month because every time I benched I did everything I was taught to do...lats & scaps tight, white knuckles on the bar, elbows tucked, pull chest up on the way down, push it away on the way up, pull the bar apart, stay tight all the way through, hold your breah, don't move, lock it in on the handoff to produce extra stability......the list goes on and on. I did every thing every time and it produced nothing. I was trying to make myself bench instead of letting myself bench. I was trying to force myself to be stronger & to be perfectly stable instead of letting myself do it.

THAT'S what he meant!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just let it be what it will be and let the chips fall where they may. Sure there are certain things that you have to learn and you have to know and keep in order, but, every thing isn't gonna go every time. And if you let it go and let it happen, even when every thing isn't right on, you just might make the lift anyway. ;-)

Today I asked him if I was pausing long enough on my bench and if I was holding my scaps evenly on my military press. I could tell both times he wanted to smack me and tell me to RELAX. But, he didn't. He came up with new answers with longer explanations.....But it still meant relax, just the same. haha. I smiled and agreed and didn't ask anything else....cuz I finally get it. Just let your natural juices flow...give your body and your muscle memory a little credit, Chelsi. Just do it because you know how, not because you need practice cuz you're afraid to do it wrong. Let it be what it will be.

I am reading this book right now called 'The Mind Gym.' It says "The probability of achieving the outcome you want increases when you let go of the need to have it." ~ I don't know how I did this....but this is finally the realization that I came to. It's a REAL hard one. You're afraid to let go for fear that letting go will keep it from happening...but just the opposite takes place. It's finally free to turn out in your favor. My fear elimination therapist gave me this example a couple of weeks ago. She said "Think of things like sand. If you grab a hand full of sand and you squeeze real tight to try to hold onto it, almost all of the sand will fall out from between your fingers. But, if you keep your hand open and hold it gently, all the sand will stay, and you may even be able to open your fingers a little bit without losing any sand." ...Isn't that cool?!

Today went extremely well. I only went up to 165 but it felt so much better. Much MUCH better. I just let it be what it was gonna be and it felt very good. I certainly didn't let my form fall all to pieces, but, I just quit thinking about it and just did it. I stopped trying to force myself and just trusted that I would. So, I did.

Competition Bench - 135 lbs., 145 lbs., 155 lbs., 165 lbs., 155 lbs.(2 sets), all for doubles. RPE was 9.

Close Grips with a board - 135 lbs., 155 lbs., 145 lbs.(2 sets) all for 6.

Cambered Bar Shrugs - 95 lbs., 12. 115 lbs., 10. 125 lbs., 8.

Dumbbell Military Press - 25 lbs., 30 lbs., 35 lbs., all for 10.

Shoulder Horn - 8 lbs., 2 sets of 15.

Chops - 40 lbs., 3 sets of 12, each side.

<3 Stretching <3

It was a GREAT day. :-)