TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all know how much I LOOOOVE birthdays right?!?!?!? Well...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my training journey with Brian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guess what?! It's been TWO YEARS since I had to switch trainers. TWO YEARS!!!!!! I've been training with Brian for as long as it took me to find him! lol. This birthday won't last all week...there won't be any special treat dinners or anything. I'm less than 3 wks from a meet & Brian is getting closer to his body-building show & doesn't get but 1 hour once a week to cheat. BUT it DEFINITELY deserves recognition. This is huge for me...it brings tears to my eyes & I'm so grateful I haven't had to go through that switching stuff again. No more "new guys"!!!!!!

I got a great revelation on Sunday. Quite possibly my favorite one ever. Although, I probably say that about every revelation when it's new. Anyway, here goes:

Sunday's message at church was about peace. One of the scriptures used was the one about Jesus being asleep in the boat when the storm started & the apostles panicked. In the beginning of that story in the Mark reference, Jesus says "Let us go over to the other side." The storm starts & the apostles panic & freak out & wake Jesus up & say to Him "Don't you care if we drown?" Jesus calms the storm. Then He says "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

Ben, one of our Deacons who was giving the sermon, said first to notice that Jesus showed no slack to them. He didn't say "Oh, it's okay that you're afraid because you're human." SECOND (and this is the major revelation), He wasn't necessarily upset because of the general fact that they were afraid.....he was upset because He had already TOLD them, "Let us go to the other side." He didn't say let us go out & wander aimlessly & you just follow me. He said He was going to take them from point A to point B. God isn't going to tell you that He's taking you from point A to point B & let you drown in the middle. HE WILL get you there!!!

A year ago I was in Malaysia. Two weeks before I left as I sat in the stairwell very nervous, in tears & not wanting to leave. Brian stood on the steps & reassured me for a good 15 mins. that everything would be fine. He told me I'd be coming home & that he was staying around. He said he was gonna get me to this Paralympics & then to the next. He said something about taking care of my shoulders & things so he can still be training me in 10 years. He said he enjoys training me & when I got back from Malaysia he'd be here & we'd continue with life as normal.

This has been a very turbulent year for Brian & me...much more so than the first. In my opinion, I'm sure he'd trade starting at the beginning to figure out how to train me over what I put him through this year any day. I heeded what he said before I left for Malaysia.....for maybe a month. Then something else came up & I'd screw up or be in a bad mood or wouldn't lift well & I'd wonder again if he wanted to train me or if he'd had enough. This has been continuous because of my deep-rooted insecurities.

Then I heard the sermon on Sunday. Where is my faith? Why am I so afraid? Brian said everything I could have asked him to say. It was like it was scripted right from heaven coming out of his mouth to me. Why would I have any reason to think anything different, if he's never said any different or acted in a way as though he's going to leave. He was here when I got back, we continued as normal, it's a year later, he's still my trainer. He's the longest lasting trainer I've had. He talks about my future meets & what he's going to do with me & how he plans to get me stronger. What more do I need? (And there has been so much more that he has given me)

I'm sure the apostles were afraid because they themselves couldn't do anything about the storm. But, they should have known that Jesus was right there with them & there was no need to be worried. Jesus calmed the storm INSPITE of the Apostles unbelief. I have been so afraid because I knew I couldn't do anything on my own to get to the Paralympics. Brian has been a trooper & continued to train me INSPITE of my own unbelief. Funniest (well, not really funny haha, but, interesting) thing about it is at one point I also questioned Brian about whether he cared or not.

Brian said he'd get me from point A to point B. He's not gonna let me drown in the middle. Not only that, but GOD has given me the vision for the Paralympics. So, beyond human error that could occur at any time GOD will NOT let me drown between point A & point B. If I lost everything I've built with Brian as my trainer, God would still be able to get me to the Paralympics. My peace is in God. That's all I need.

I'm ready to get out of my own way. I've said that before, but each time I do better & better at it. I don't need to do a thing but go in & lift. Brian's waiting for me there at the gym each day when I'm supposed to show up. He's got my program in hand & he believes some day we're gonna make it happen. I just need to lift & it will happen, some day.

I think I've learned more lessons this year than any other year of my life. I can actually feel myself maturing. I've taken huge steps...monumental steps...that I wouldn't have taken 2 years ago. They've been taken mostly at Brian's prodding. But they've turned out to be what's best for me. He cares all right....probably more than I could imagine. He's still my trainer. And he's better than the best of the best at his job. No one has been able to suggest anything for the weight room that he hasn't already done with me or that he hasn't already figured out isn't good for me because of my condition. I look forward to a much better third year and an even better fourth...and so on down the line...atleast to 10 years, right? ;-) I'm so very blessed. I just wish I wasn't so spoiled that it clouded my view so often.

Happy birthday Official Training Journey. You're a dream come true, in more ways than I can count.

P.S. ~ Happy Anniversary to my parents :-)