Disappointment

Hello everyone :)

I got my first two lifts today. 154 lbs. and 165 lbs. 165 is a meet PR, so that's always great to have progress! But, I missed 176. As far as I remember (and I very well could be wrong, and I'm sure I'll be corrected if I am), I don't remember crying after a meet since my very first meet in which I completely bombed out of. ...I cried tonight. I really believed I'd have it. There were several factors that played into it all, which I (now) completely see how I didn't get it. But, I really thought I would. I'm starting to wonder if I haven't been in the sport long enough to expect out of myself what I expect. ... But, I also think that attribute that works on my nerve right now is what will make me successful in the future because I am never satisfied. I probably could spare to be a little more balanced, by not completely being disappointed in myself, while simultaneously not being satisfied. But, that'll all come in due time. Coach was proud of me. Brian always seems proud of me and we always pick up right where we left off whether I make my lifts or not, and it's always okay no matter what I call and say to him after my meets and my family is proud of me. So, I'll eventually find the balance in amongst my support. :-)