Integrity

The first definition in the dictionary of Integrity is: adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

The second definition in the dictionary of Integrity is: the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished.

The first definition in the dictionary of Dignity is: bearing, conduct, or speech indicative of self-respect or appreciation of the formality or gravity of an occasion or situation.

When my grandpa was sick with cancer and was getting weaker, he had to hold onto the walls when he had to walk to the bathroom in his condo. His girlfriend said to me on a daily basis, while I was visiting, (so that he could hear her) "And of course he can't get a walker to help him get around. That would be just stupid." And every time she said it I wanted to say "Can you still walk yourself to the bathroom? Do you know what it feels like to NOT be able to go to the bathroom by yourself? He's trying to hold onto his integrity and dignity for as long as possible. Leave him alone!"

Everyone is very quick to lend a hand where help is needed. And I understand that people are well-intentioned and trying the best they know how. But extremely few people understand that the degrading feeling doesn't come because other people care that I need help. It comes because I care that I need help. And because that is so rarely recognized, my own dignity and integrity are shattered regularly because people want to explain with words that they don't mind helping me. I know. But it's extraordinarily hard to find the one who will explain with actions that my worth does not drop because of my differences. And when that is found, it is like finding the rarest, most precious, expensive jewel on earth. Most of you know the list of people I talk highly about that have told me or treated me as if my differences don't mean much, if anything to them, in the situations that I see them in. But, most of them I only see/saw under certain circumstances...not on a daily basis. It's harder to keep things from people when they're in our lives on a daily basis. There are less than a handful of people who have recognized when pieces of my self-respect and self-worth are laying on the ground and they need picked up before they are stepped on.

Brian fits the first definition of integrity perfectly. This week, Brian has managed to pick up the pieces of the second definition of integrity and the definition of dignity, bind them back together, place them in the most beautiful packaging and delicately and quietly present them back to me in one piece when I have believed I have lost them. And the biggest, most important part of that package has been to continually look me in the eyes. He's not embarrassed, he doesn't pity me, he's not uncomfortable. And I'm still worth just as much as before he knew anything about my life...before I had to share my 'dreaded' Spina Bifida side effects.

A lot of people start to judge me when I start to speak this highly of someone. I'd like to remind you to go back to my blog about my "Alabaster Box" from March. No one knows the price of the oil in anyone else's alabaster box. No one understands why small and insignificant actions can be so large and significant in the lives of others. I just want to stay as aware and thankful as possible of the blessings in my life, so that they are not taken for granted.

Sorry, that was little heavy. I tend to do that now and then. But, to me, it's worth acknowledging one hundred times over.

I had a great lift today. :-D He also seems to know what he's doing in the weight room. ;-) I'm getting stronger!!!!!! (and thicker also. lol.)

Bench Speed Drill - 115 lbs., and I THINK he used 2 chains today, not positive though. 3 sets of 3 with all 3 grips.
Close Grip - No chains. 135 lbs., 1 set of 5. Then singles to find max....found it at 180 lbs.!!!! YAY! Close Grip is harder than bench! I think the most I've probably ever done is 155 lbs. The stroke is longer because the arms are straighter than when the grip is wider. So, we were both really happy about that.
Blackburns - 5 lbs., 2 sets of 20.
Reach-Ups - 2 sets of 30.
Medball Bounes - 8 lbs., 2 sets. Not sure how long, but I had to stop on the second before he told me to.
And, stretching <3

Not a long day today, but with the maxing out, Brian took away some of the 'volume' of what we did, since the 'intensity' went up. He explains that to me all the time, so he'll be happy to know that I listen and I was able to say it the right way. :) Next week is deload. :( I was given my 'warning' today that that's how it's going to be. lol.

Everyone say a prayer for my open-house tomorrow. And, my friend Misty had to have surgery again this week. She had a pressure sore that she had to have grafted and the graft came open. :( Say prayers that she heals well.